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  • Leg two of our trip is done, and I just want to start off by saying THANK FUCKING GOD we're taking a different airline for the return trip! The pilot kept us sitting in the runway for at least half an hour after boarding, getting into his barely legible intercom every so often to tell us our spot in line, whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean. The safety information was provided via a video that was played for us on the back of seat monitors. More money was put into the production of this video than for upkeep of any of their planes. It was followed by a bunch of advertisements which the screens would not turn off during. I don't even allow my internet at home to bombard me with advertisements, and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit quiet about some airline pulling that crap. The screens also turned on in the middle of the flight to show an ad for a hotel room. Fuck you too, United. Fuck you too. The final straw, besides the sheer amount of time it took us to deplane AGAIN, would be the flight attendants who huddled in the galley for the entire flight gossiping using the same color language I'm using to type up this review. The deplaning procedure was given to us over the intercom, through giggles as the attendant was in the middle of a chat session at the time of landing. The only time they weren't chatting was during the beginning of the flight when they were busy with food and beverage carts. If I ever want to travel the world while barely doing 15 minutes of work in a six-hour span, I would gladly be an attendant for United! And once again, I am so glad we chose a different airline for the return trip. Fuck United. Fuck them hard, fuck them dry.
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