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| - Coles notes version: to call this place a tourist trap would be a compliment.
I wouldn't even give this place a star...it would be too generous. My gf bought one of those zoo travel deals so we went on the last possible day before it expired. Had high hopes. From the second we walked in the door, the bad vibes begun.
1) It took over 15 minutes for anyone to even acknowledge our presence. When someone finally did, he was rude and even served someone that walked in after us first. We informed him politely but he ignored the information, and just told everyone waiting (3 couples total) that it wouldn't be long. +15 mins later we gave up and decided to eat at the bar. We informed the host who replied with: "Sure! Sit at the bar...look at me, I'd like to have a drink too and would do that too!"
2) Took another 10-15 minutes for anyone at the bar to even acknowledge our presence. Someone that looked like the owner or manager was there, cleaning cutlery from a big green bucket. Didn't even smile or attempt to serve us or even bring us menus. Finally, a nice bartender who had just come in to start his shift helped us. He was the highlight of the night.
3) We told him we were there for the travel zoo promo and he said they were working off the normal menu tonight. That means: 1 antipasti, 1 pasta and each diner gets 1 Secondi dish. We thought: great!!! These guys must be generous! Maybe there's hope for this place yet! Let's order some drinks.
4) drinks ordered. My drink smells like a dirty dish rag. Lovely.
5) antipasti - carpaccio - good. Nothing to complain about here. It's really hard to mess this up.
Pasta - ordered the Papradelle with mushrooms. It took over 30 mins for this come out. When it was served, I noticed it wasn't Paradelle. Turned out, they ran out. Either way, I have to admit it was mighty tasty. Only 3 forks worth but that's ok.
Secondi - Gf ordered scallops and shrimp over Israeli couscous. What came out was ok but it wasn't couscous. It was rice. The kind you get in a box.
Me - chicken, Jerusalem artichokes , honey balsamic reduction. Chicken was under cooked. The "Jerusalem artichokes" were undercooked diced potatoes, and it was a jus and not honey and balsamic reduction. Too add insult to injury, it was completely flavourless. No salt. So seasoning. Horrible.
6) my gf last drink had a pubic hair in it. Please see picture as proof.
7) 3 course meal - took over 2 hours. It was obvious the kitchen was getting slammed but it was ridiculous to see the staff not caring whatsoever and just treating customers as idiots.
8) if you want to pay by credit card, their machines are broken. Apparently, this seems to be a running theme. Cash only. There's a cash machine conveniently located in the restaurant. Can anyone say: tax evasion? Give me a break.
9) I went to the washroom. It was remarkably clean. And then I saw the sink. Both handles of the faucets were completely torn off and one faucet was just running without any way to turn it off. At least I got to wash my hands but I got the feeling that this was the act of a pissed off customer.
10) someone that looked like the owner/manager's friend came in and sat beside us at the bar. He got his food at least 3x as quickly as anyone else.
I normally don't write reviews but this place was so bad, it doesn't even deserve to be on that piece of shit show Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares.
Not only was this the worst restaurant I've ever been to in Toronto, its the worst restaurant I've been to worldwide.
Two words to sum up: Stay away.
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