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  • You have to completely and utterly tanked to enjoy Toppers. Period. There is no other reason any reasonable person would ever want to put this shit into their body. This is the result of Ronald McDonald and the Noid conceiving a demon baby in a pit of flaming grease. I have personally witnessed the reinforced cardboard pizza box fall apart under the pressure of that seeping acid they call oil. You will have burning diarrhea for days. There is good cheese everywhere in Wisconsin; the pudding-like goop they put on top of their pizza is not an excuse to do this to yourself. Combine this with the fact that they have the most arrogant, inattentive customer service in the history of restaurants, and it makes for the shittiest dining experience possible. It takes no less than an hour to get a pizza from here, but it leans more towards 2-3 hours when it's late and the drunk idiots with no taste barrage the place with orders. I am pretty sure that eating at Toppers is forbidden in the Old Testament. For the sake of yourself, everyone in smelling distance of you, and the children with birth defects you may father/mother if you continue to eat here, just put down the phone. Upped to 2 stars because I enjoyed it in a drunken, shameful moment of weakness. May or may not have cried afterwards.
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