| rev:text
| - Assume the "sucka" position:
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- You'll be asked to slouch back in your chair which means sitting your ass at the edge of the cushion. This maximizes stripper to crotch contact, but it can't be good for your posture.
- Make sure your pockets don't have anything in them (except for cash otherwise the stripper will instinctively go elsewhere). They'll need your front pockets empty because for the next couple of minutes your lap and face will be the playground for a gyrating topless female on the verge of leaving you a slug mark. They'll make sure to empty your pockets.
- Lap dances are about $20-$30, and they vary in length. Also the style or what they do, all depends on the chick. The hot breath on the crotch technique might be semi-exclusive to Ling Ling.
Alize, Mercedes, Lexus......Hyundai to the Stage:
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- Like with some women, there's some who really know how to get what they want. The same goes for strip clubs which means there's some fuglier or aggressive older chicks who know how to pry the last dollar from your pockets. While there's also others with minimal ass-ets who also know how to do this, but they do it with chit chat and a smile on their face. I prefer a smile when I'm getting hustled.
- If you have cash in hand, make sure you quickly hide it, otherwise a stripper lurking nearby will potentially pounce on you for it. Naturally they'll try to distract you with a boob to the face/eye/etc which could temporarily blind/distract you, but unfortunately if this happens to you, even a death grip on your cash won't help cuz It didn't with me - the stripper basically tugged on the cash till I let go (sad). Instead the money was meant for the chick that we asked over, but the rabid stripper who attacked, than asked me for an additional $10 more for a lap dance that I didn't even want (well from her). After about 2 mins into it, I just told her to get up and find another lap. My lap wanted nothing to do with her.
Dicks and Douchebags
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- The front door guys and a couple of the guys working security here seemed to be huge f'n dickheads. The f'n douchebags are extremely rude, but I'm sure they also deal with their fair amount of douchebaggery and dickheads cuz it comes with the territory, but I think this is bad for repeat business.
Working Hard for a Buck
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I'm not the biggest fan of strip clubs, but I've been to my fair share of them and Sapphire wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Luckily they had some fairly hot chicks so that always works a star or two out of me.... along with a couple $20's here'n'there, but at least the money goes to a good cause: chicks paying their way through school, single moms, an Affliction shirt for their bf, 22's on the BMW 6 series, and an eight ball of yay-yo.
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