The standard order...
"I'll have the Veggie Omelette. Yes, The one with onions, green peppers and mushrooms. But instead of mushrooms can I please have salmon slices... and instead of the green peppers, can I please have apples... and instead of the onions, can you please substitute Goji Berries? Great. Do you do egg whites? Well, I don't want those... I'd prefer egg beiges... mostly white with some yellow. You know what, don't use eggs at all. Just heat up some soy milk and use a teaspoon of olive oil to make it settle right. Oh, and instead of a salad can I please have some tofu cubes and spanish eggplant marmalade? And can you serve it all in a waffle cone?"
This is substitution city. A land where nothing is what it seems.
They really should consider just creating a fill-in-the-blanks menu. It would be so much easier. I think that it's somewhat of a joke... almost as if the whole community is trying to catch someone off guard so that they can beg for a free meal or a 20% discount.
I feel really bad for the poor waiters and waitresses who work here. These people deserve medals.