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| - After an evening of great entertainment with the Capitol Steps at the Byham, we needed to find dinner, and were getting a little bored with some of our regular haunts. Our number one choice was closed for renovations, so instead of revisiting our usual Mexican or Indian friends downtown, we decided to try something we'd not tried, and opted for the Diamond Market. We should have stuck with Hola or Namaste instead of 'hah yinz doin?'
We went in, and there was a very light crowd, but all eyes were glued to the six big screen TVs blasting 'em Stillers ad-nauseum. Apparently, this included the few wait staff on hand. They seated us, and after ten to fifteen minutes glancing over the menu, and having made up our minds, with no visit at all from a wait person, I decided to make a phone call. I called the number listed for the restaurant on the bottom of the menu, and the hostess, who had been standing and chatting with one of the waitresses by the front door, answered the phone.
"Good evening, Diamond Market, can I help you?"
I replied: "Yes, hi...we're seated here at the back corner table, and were wondering if we might be able to order a waitress?"
The hostess looked in our direction, and I waved and she waved back and said "Oh my god! I'm sorry! One moment!"
So our waitress appeared within a minute, and we placed our order. Two brewed iced teas (they're Pepsi people, dammit), a 'Colossal' Fish Sandwich with fries for me and an Open Faced Meatloaf sandwich with mashed potatoes for my friend.
The menu we'd looked over was a little on the outrageously priced side. Many of the dishes, regardless of how commonplace and 'diner' they seemed, easily ranged between $15 and $30. For our choices, from the 'sandwich' category, mine was actually the cheapest item on the menu at $9+, and the open faced meatloaf was somewhere between $12 and $15.
The meal actually arrived very quickly, and our waitress was as sweet and attentive as could be...once the call had been made.
First, the meatloaf. One piece of average sized white bread, with what looked like two strips of meatloaf, doused with gravy, and on the other side of the plate, an average scoop of mashed potatoes with brown gravy. Looked like standard diner fare, priced like bistroid art projects on a plate. I took a nibble of the meatloaf on my friend's cue, and it was...well...meatloaf. Decent meatloaf, but...meatloaf. And not very much of it.
Now, on to the fish. 'Colossal'? Um, not quite.
Let me give Pittsburghers a quick lesson on fish and fish sandwiches. Fish, the actual creatures, are long and thin. Contrary to the standard possibly set by Mcdonald's, they are NOT the shape of the average hamburger bun, and they are not little squares. One thing I have noticed from several famous-fish-boasting eateries in da burgh is that it seems common practice to take an entire fish, normal size, and ram it all onto...a hamburger bun. And this seems very odd to me in the land of 'hoagies', which are stuffed into buns that are fit for...a fish.
However, my 'Colossal' ten-buck fish sandwich came on...a hamburger bun...and it fit perfectly. The fish WAS tasty, as was the batter, and the toppings that came with it (lettuce, tomato, cheese, tartar sauce and banana peppers), but when you're two doors down from the Original Oyster House, with monster fish, don't you feel just a little silly bragging about your 'colossal' fish that...isn't? There wasn't even a fish 'overhang' protrusion from the bun. It was just plain ol' hamburger bun sized.
The fries were actually pretty good, crispy and real, and there was also a pickle and a tiny cup of cole slaw. The slaw was weird though. Frankly, it tasted like cabbage sitting in apple juice. Not cider vinegar, but actual apple juice.
The brewed tea from Nicholas was good.
But truly, meatloaf and a fish sandwich were just that, average and not hefty in portion, and the bill was $30.
This was another experiment that failed, and another FTLT visit. We'll stick with the Mexican's upstairs, or walk fewer blocks and stick to Indian Spices...at least until Winghart's finishes their renovations.
And if you do decide to visit, and you sit there forever - the phone number for the restaurant is at the very bottom of the back page of the menu - just pull out your cell and order a waitress.
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