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| - Hey there! From the looks of things you're in the mood for some cooked animal. I know how you feel. It wasn't all that long ago when the same feeling came over me. My primitive brain and its desire to gnash on some protein that once had eyes was calling. I needed to stuff my gullet with as many different kinds of once-living creatures as I could and I needed them to be cooked up all low and slow like. BBQ, baby. Sure, the reviews of this place were a bit spotty, but sometimes you just gotta head out and see for yourself. So we did.
Here's the deal. A small, locally-owned BBQ joint tucked away in a suburban strip mall that serves up all Ohio-sourced grub along with some thirst-quenching craft beer in a sort of fast casual a la Chipotle-esque kinda way. I think this pretty much sums it up. The process is pretty simple. Enter, walk up to the counter, order your food, take a seat, get served said food. I highly recommend coming to the counter knowing what you want. It's not rocket science, but it will help things move along in a more orderly fashion. Good for you. Good for the hungry people behind you. Just good for everyone, really.
The menu is really about BBQ. Sure, you can get hot dogs all done up fancy like and they have salads - although if you come here to get a salad you should probably be slapped - but it's about the meat. They've got turkey, chicken, pork, ribs, and beef. You can actually eat almost an entire farm here. Sausage, wings, brisket, pulled, shredded. It's all smoked and cooked to perfection. I'm wanting it again as I write this. Also, the meat is served by the pound and you can get it as a sandwich, tacos, sliders or on its own and it comes with a side of cornbread and a pickle.
First gripe. The menu online doesn't match the one that's in the restaurant. They've made some changes to their pricing and whatnot and, well, just be aware of it. Hopefully they'll read this and tighten things up.
Second gripe. They don't have the draught list posted. Sure, they've only got six taps, but if you have to ask someone to explain every beer that could really get in the way of productivity. Know what I'm sayin'? Chalkboard it or something.
Now the good stuff.
As far as what everyone else was saying about the service, we didn't experience any of it. Sure, the place was pretty empty during our visit, but our overall service experience was quite pleasant. The cashier - being trained by a manager - did her best with minimal hand-holding and our food was brought out to us in about five minutes or so. I didn't exactly time them so it might have been 10. Either way, it didn't feel all that long.
Another note. They don't sauce their meats but at the tables you'll find a selection of 5 different sauces, each named after a president, and each with its own personality. From sweet to heat, you'll find one you like. Try them all.
We got the following to share - a pair of pulled pork sliders, 1/3 slab of ribs, hush puppies, cole slaw, beef brisket, a baked sweet potato and a sausage. Told you we did it up. The wife and I can throw down.
Let's hit some of the highlights. The cornbread is delicious. Soft, sweet, a bit sticky. Just everything it should be. And spread on some of their sweet cream butter and damn. The hush puppies are crispy little corny balls of beauty. Add the aforementioned butter, of course. The slaw is just as it is supposed to be - creamy, slightly sweet, and not messed around with. And it's a real portion, not some shot glass-sized insult. Speaking of sides, they've got so many that you could make a meal out of them on their own. Moving on.The sweet potato was soft, sweet, buttered and just right. But the real star, of course, was the meat.
The pulled pork was perfection. Tender, juicy, and smoky and those sweet little buns. Just get them, trust me. The ribs were fall-off-the-bone and delicious and the seasoning and smoke levels were spot on. The sausage, smoked and then grilled, was tasty and packed some heat of its own, but I wasn't blow away by it. I thought it was just a bit dry and grainy. Not that I didn't eat every bite, mind you. The brisket was also delicious, but a tad on the dry side as well. It sort of fell apart as we were eating it. Great flavor and very tender, though.
I walked out of this place with a pleasantly distended belly, unctious, greasy, smoky remnants of my meal still fresh on my lips and the feeling that can only come from a massive meat feast done right. Seriously, this meat was damn tasty and we did it up. I wouldn't exactly call Crooked River pricey, just on par with a place that sources high-quality ingredients and takes care, and time, to make sure they're prepared correctly. Our Groupon helped to cushion the blow a bit. The bill came total bill for our carnivore extravaganza came to somewhere around $50 before our Groupon. We went a bit crazy, though, so your bill will probably be somewhat more reasonable. Not as fun, but more reasonable.
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