| rev:text
| - I give the Tavern a 3, though it's a low 3. The 3 that means I ate it and didn't die, but I won't be returning.
The entire experience made me keep looking in corners and on lapels for cameras to see if I was getting Punk'd. Sadly, Asshole Kutcher did not pop out at the end of my meal, which leads me to believe this place is just a hot mess. I do enjoy dining at the City Tavern and Stonecrest, but this seems to be a completely different experience.
Formerly a Mexican joint, which was previously a Morton's, located on the Barclay Downs side of Southpark mall near McCormick and Schmick's and Dick's, the whole vibe seems forced. Oddly placed potted plants, a bar area that spills over into the entry so you have to twirl around people to exit, a bathroom that had not been cleaned with anything other than a passing glance in quite some time, a hostess who seemed a little frazzled as she was getting chatted up by a waiter, only a few tables seated with a few hard working wait staff, but quite a few who just seemed to be milling about... it was just off in every way.
But I had been shopping and I needed food, so... I waited for someone to come take my drink order after being seated. And I waited. And.... I waited. Seated next to women who were old school in scent application (they were both bathed in opposing and equally offensive eau du toilettes), I was afraid the hunger and breathing through my mouth was going to cause me to pass out. Finally, a young man who was working the large party room on the other side of the glass doors took pity on me and took my order. He was friendly, and efficient.
The food:
A summer salad consisting of strawberries and blueberries was offered. Since it is December, I passed on that and ordered the shaved prime rib sandwich with fries. The fries, of McDonald's width, were completely devoid of any kind of seasoning. I never put salt on anything, ever, but had to liberally douse these with salt. The shaved prime rib was tender, but had several fat pockets that were bleh. At first I thought the meat was juicy, but I think it was just greasy. Covered in cheese, the meat was flavored okay, and the toasted bread was tender on the inside. It was good enough, but nothing worth repeating.
The young man that FINALLY waited on me was friendly and efficient, some of the others could take a lesson since the crowd seemed pretty sparse at 6:30 on a Tuesday and per table tips need to be high. My drink was kept filled, condiments were brought, check was brought and picked up in a timely manner. But the food was just *shrug. I wasn't terribly impressed with anything and with all of the choices in the area, there is no reason to spend money on a mediocre experience.
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