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| - We started out joking that they should have just called it "EL KLUCK'S" or "Los Klucko's". This joint was Kluck's for over forty years. Forty years of frozen, overcooked, marginal seafood. Why go there? We didn't. So when "El Klucko's" opened we went with another couple and figured "well, how bad could it be?" One thing is: it's CHEAP. So they will draw the alternative types from the area. They slapped on the usual red, white and green paint and opened the doors within a week of Kluck's closing. At least you get to sit down and get served for your $10.00. Salsa: standard. No salsa verde. I asked the waitress (in Spanish) for salsa verde and she brought another salsa roja. Oh, well. The chips were warmed but not, as far as we could tell, made on the premises. I asked the waiter if I could get a chile relleno without the beans and rice. He said "well, it's only another two dollars for the beans and rice". He was kind of arguing with me! So I caved in. What came was the usual plate of slop. Chile relleno BURIED in bland rice, bland beans, and tons of tasteless cheese. I really can't stand that kind of Mexican food. It isn't even Mexican. It's Am-Mex. More cheese, more better? Isn't that the American way? Bland, stringy, tasteless, a mass of melted post-atomic-bomb hole-filler.
I really don't need that particular hole filled up in that way. Margarita report: among four people we had three pitchers of sour-mix Margaritas. We didn't even feel as though we had anything to drink. Stick with beer, I guess. At least you know what's in there. Service was perfunctory. Food was not so good. Drinks were weak. Crowd all looked a little rough around the edges and perhaps unbathed. Music was obtrusive. UPDATE: Well, we DID go again. Guacamole was okay this time. Enchiladas and tamales were edible. Rice: still bland. The ranchero style beans: all right. I would still steer clear of the margaritas. NO LIQUOR in there at all. Last time we took a flask of tequila and added our own (is that legal?), but beer is the best bet. The margarita is pure Lemix. They do not have wine by the bottle. Chorizo and eggs are edible. They don't seem to mind how long you stay, which is a plus. People watching is GREAT. Some serious characters with insane hairdos. Very John Waters. We keep waiting for Divine to waddle in with some kind of sequined poncho on. The fake Mexican accents on some of the waiters can get rather old. "Hola Amigos!" from a guy with hipster glasses and a fauxhawk? Still, it IS pretty cheap. And the portions are humongous. ANOTHER UPDATE: well, we went AGAIN. We won't be going any more. There was a bone in my husband's bean burrito. This would have been a real buzz kill for a vegetarian. I also ordered the ranchero beans again and this time it was almost all water, floppy cheap bacon, and a few beans. Eggs with chorizo were hard as rocks, but with chorizo. Salsa tastes different every time. Guacamole is definitely from Sam's Club. Don't torture yourself with this place. I have been to Mexico many times, and lived in California with great Mexican food all over the place. This ain't authentico. It is very uneven. I really want to like it, because it's so close to home, but after that bone in the bean burrito, it is finito.
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