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| - Often cited as one of Toronto's best burger experiences, Holy Chuck was a place I was looking to try for a while. It gets compared a lot to and even accused of being a knockoff of a particular religious-themed overrated and overhyped-to-death-ad-nauseam local burger chain which shall not be named. I even read somewhere Holy Chuck apparently has a secret menu too (does it?). But who gives a chuck?
The only thing holy about Holy Chuck is its name and logo. Okay, maybe also the food, but that would be taking comparisons too far. You should read the menu, it's unbelievably amusing beyond comprehension; an amazing marriage of deranged punny thinking and insanely greasy ideas you thought of and didn't, manifested in creations like "farmers threesome" (involves a lamb, beef and bacon patty each), "the sixxy cow" (6ix chuckin patties!) or "you fat pig." They also make milkshakes, and it should be known that our good friend Nutella makes a prominent appearance on the menu. Want a simple Nutella burger? Then you're asking for a "venus my nutty cow."
What I like about their beef patties is that it is buttery and very tender, well-grounded but holds itself together, packed with fat whether cooked medium rare or well done. The products are on the small side, utilizes basic Weston Bakeries-made buns, a tad pricey for their size, making up only for its claim of a high quality product, stacked height, and bloody damn greasiness. The Holy Chuck burger is a decent tasty safe introductory choice into the mad cow's world of Holy Chuck.
But oh, they also stuff other sandwiches in a burger! They even use croissants and complete grilled cheese sandwiches as buns! The 'cowlorie' for example is a double patty burger with bacon served on two grilled cheese sandwiches. It lacks the size of the pancake burger at Lisa Marie on Queen West (the only thing I can think of to compare to this hybrid monster), but makes up for with its excessively greasy processed cheesiness and soft easy texture. Crazy. There's also just as insane 'the grazer', which is their 'animal feed' vegetarian friendly portobello mushroom burger spoiled in between you guessed it: Two! Grilled! Cheese! Sandwiches!
Wait, there's more! What other kind of greasy burger joint out there has foie gras and truffles on the menu? What the fancy chuck?? I look forward to trying their foie gras poutine soon.
Overall, it's a basic looking fast food restaurant with a good handful of tables. But the epic level of menu humour, mindblowing number of interesting choices, and very tasty products, makes Holy Chuck a giant leap of an experience far beyond (and less pretentious than) that-shall-not-be-named-local-overrated-chain Burger's P*****. Definitely one of the best in town. As much as I love this stuff from the first bite, it's something best had once in a while. One burger meal is filling enough and may (much like with Morgan Spurlock in Super Size Me) trigger a Holy Chucking Gurgles. Or the Holy Chucking Stomach Ache. If you attempted their notable Go Chuck Yourself Challenge (which doesn't come with much rewards, though it was fun perusing their wall of contestant portraits), you could very well experience afterwards their infamous Up-Chuck.
{TTC: St. Clair subway station. Find it a short walk south of St. Clair. Find it a long run from the nearest hospital.}
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