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  • I fail to see how Rocky River could allow this to happen. But allow me to digress for a moment, for I am from the East Coast. See, back in Connecticut, we have many Jewish people. They're great. And one stereotypical thing that is true about Jewish folks is that they like ordering out for Chinese food. So there's a certain standard kept in place; the Jews love great Chinese, and so the Chinese have to make great Chinese food or they go out of business. Back in Connecticut, a place like Mark Pi's would have gone out of business in two days flat. They would have seen the rubbery chicken, the sawdust-dry crusts on the rolls, the sauces that taste like salt and old hot sauce, the chewy broccoli that has been steamed to a pale green, and they would have revolted. The other Chinese restaurants would have closed around Mark Pi's and quietly gotten it to shut its doors, lest someone accidentally taste this and believe that this was even close to what Chinese food should be. I can only assume the reason Mark Pi's survives is that it opens up locations where the locals have never tasted actual, you know, food. Mark Pi's was so bad I went back there again just to verify its awfulness. What I got was so wretched, so Lovecraftian in its horror, that I said, "They can't be that bad. It must have been an off day for these poor folks. Let me try it again." So, against the wishes of my wife, I returned to this greasy-spoon diner atmosphere.... And it was WORSE. I give two stars for food that isn't good. I give one star for food that is actively bad; it's the difference between a guy weaving on the road and a guy driving the wrong way down the freeway at seventy miles an hour. This is the kind of food you put in your mouth and then wonder what the hell happened. The cardboard packaging is tastier, and cheaper. You could pour old oil on road kill and put it on rice, and it would be just as good. Mark Pi's preys on folks who know no better. There are at least two restaurants in the area who have actual food. I assure you, search for them.
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