| rev:text
| - There are very few restaurants that truly merit a 1 star review. Most restaurants have a redeeming quality. If the service is poor, sometimes the food is cheap. If the portions are small or the food is bland, oftentimes the prices are low.
Eastwind has no redeeming qualities. 1 star across the board.
Service: They have an awkward "half service" policy where you order at the counter and have your food delivered to your table and taken away when you leave it there after a few bites. Maybe there are some cultural norms I'm missing but the service is very abrupt. I was the only customer in the restaurant and after around 10 seconds of looking at the menu I was granted a scowling "What you want." Later she delivered food to the table without a word or a smile. I felt a sense of genuine antipathy, like she would have enjoyed stabbing me in the eye with one of their unwashed forks.
Food: I ordered the Korean Beef platter. I read in a previous review that they failed some health inspections in January so I figured beef was safer than seafood. The plate sure looked delicious, but the first thing I noticed was that there was a paucity of beef and a plethora of noodles for a dish with "beef" in its name. Then I speared a chunk of beef and...ew. I'm a frugal shopper, so I frequently pick up 50% off "manager specials" at the grocery store for same day cooking. It's a risk, but typically you get a great deal on a perfectly good cut of beef. Occasionally I get unlucky though, so Im very familiar with the flavor of turned beef. The beef at Eastwind wasn't even manager's special plus a few days. It was plain rotten. It's the kind of beef that you find in a Cormac McCarthy novel that the protagonist, starving, downtrodden, maybe considering cannibalism, would still pass on. It's currently turning in my stomach. I hope I don't have to leave work early.
Decor and setting:
All the signs of a place slowly going to shit. Clearly this used to have owners that cared, it no longer does. The bathroom has that old piss smell you normally find in public bathrooms in a park, or back allies behind the dumpster at a dive bar. I used the urinal, it doesn't flush. Like I pulled the handle, and just nothing. I didn't wash my hands, because the sink looked like I probably would have picked up more germs than I would cleaned off. I doubt the new management has cleaned it once since taking over, and they're in dire need of a plumber. The menu is covered in blackouts and price changes, clear signs of a restaurant on the ropes and either too cheap or lazy to reprint. Christmas decor is still up, as is Thanksgiving decor. Lightbulbs are out everywhere, and the equipment to change them sits in full view of customers gathering dust next to the fountain drinks. The kitchen is also in full view. When I was walking out I saw the chef messing with his cell phone, the cord resting on cutting board where my rotting meat was just cut.
I had maybe ten bites, comes out to a dollar per bite. Left the rest in the table.
This place is just the worst.
Pros: literally nothing
Cons: literally everything
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