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| - You know the feeling you get when you haven't had a decent meal in what seems like days and all you want to do is break the fast with something amazing? That's the feeling I had yesterday afternoon when I foolishly decided to try La Tolteca for the first time...
Why was this a foolish decision? Because I got sick. Super duper sick. Which I should have known was going to happen because the Fish Burro I ordered tasted terrible. And now, here I am, 24 hours later, still trying to keep fluids in my body in between trips to the bathroom.
Now I know what you're thinking... "What does he expect? He ordered a Fish Burro!" And I know. You're right. It's just that I've had such good luck with fish tacos at a couple of other restaurants lately (Canteen, Tacos Atoyac) that I decided to see what sort of magic La Tolteca could create with their mahi mahi. Apparently their in-house magician has Mondays off.
I seriously don't know why there's so many four and five star reviews of this place on Yelp. It's not that great. Even if my burrito hadn't made me ill, I still would have felt compelled to write something to balance all the positive reviews on here. Maybe the corn tortillas they use on their tacos deserve the accolades that other reviewers can't seem to stop talk about, but my flour tortilla was below average. It was dry and it tasted like paper.
As for the burro, I specifically asked about the filling prior to ordering it and I was told that it only contained cabbage, fresco cheese and guacamole. Sadly, when I took my first bite, out spewed a white, mayonnaise-like substance. The burro's filling was more like a fish salad of sorts and it tasted off. Very off. And the fish wasn't hot. Actually, nothing it the burro was the least bit warm. And the guacamole was on the side--not inside the burro. But again, I was starving at this point so I took it down. Every last bite.
I knew immediately that something was wrong. I considered removing the food from my body as soon as I got outside, but I decided to keep my finger out of mouth and let things settle. Big mistake. There would be no settling. I consider myself to have an iron gut, too. I can basically eat anything in any quantity (not that I do this often) but normally I have good luck. I haven't been this sick since eating food from a middle-of-nowhere farmstand while bike touring in the Caribbean.
I'm giving La Tolteca two stars because I did like their hot sauces--all of them. And they have cheap beer, too ($2 Coronas all day, every day). However, as Michael S. noted in an earlier review, everything I tried tasted off. Tangy is fine when that's what a place is going for, but everything I ate tasted slightly tangy in a ugh-this-is-going-to-make-me-sick sort of way. Not cool.
So that's that. I really don't think I'll be back. I have no desire to explore the bakery case and there's way too many small taquerias around to take any more chances with this high-volume, supermarket of a restaurant.
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