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  • Hey, you there. C'mon in here to Walmart and lose your mind. I might make one to two trips here per year and that's way too much. I mean, Duck Dynasty, y'know? They sell a lot of that stuff here. If you want to market any old crap, this place will sell it. It's way too fluorescent in here. It feels like I've died and gone to Walmart. Why is the greeter always so weird? Is it a greeter or a robot? Or a cardboard cutout of a greeter being impersonated by a robot? I can't stand it. That kind of thinking will lead a man to drink. Go on back in the back and dig through the piles of electronic crap. Try to find a DVD you actually want in the myriad racks of bargain discs and various other assortments. I can't find anything here. Why isn't The Cannonball Run II here? Really need that movie. Can't find it in all the piles of Shrek XXVI and Laurel and Hardy compilations. Don't go into that McDonald's there. Once a shift is done there, the workers go over into Walmart to work their second job. Then they go back to McDonald's when they're done there. Scary. I can't wear NASCAR things. They have lots of that sort of apparel here. If Tod Browning was alive and could make a sequel to Freaks, he'd surely film it here. The parking lot is jam packed at every hour of the day and night. How is this possible? I'm just trying to get over there to Firehouse Subs or Burgatory. Here come the Walmart shoppers taking up those spaces, too. Chills me to the bone. A petri dish of human experiments gone wrong to the nth.
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