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| - Listen, imma gonna give it to you straight. I just walked out of Bakersfield looking like a happy, sweaty, pregnant walrus and I have no regrets. Stuffed AF ya'll.
Disclaimer: I've had two of their alcoholic beverages and they are deceptively strong. Like "Ooohh yeah this pineapple margarita ($10) is amazing! I can't even taste the liquor! Bring me one of those pretty sangria's! ($9)" And the next thing you know you're being feisty and harassing the wait staff again. Whatevs, they liked it. At least that's what my lawyer is going to argue...
Sorry, I got off track, let me start at the beginning. We had our monthly supper club here tonight. I was not allowed to reserve a table so a couple of us showed up early to snag seating for 15. (Apparently there were 3 others in our group but we got separated in the crowded room. I think they might have been the three ballerina's at one of the standing tables. If that was you I'm so sorry! I didn't check my messages until it was all over! I have failed as a host.)
Anyways, we were served by Matt (aka Chewy) and Brandon. Both did an excellent job with our big group. Pleasant and attentive. We also had the manager Joe (aka Haley Joel Osment) wandering about us like a homeless person ready to pounce at any taco left behind. Just kidding, he was nice and just making sure everything was going okay. (It was his first day). Oh and this reminds me, Joe and Mr. General Manager Neil are some tasty looking eye candy. Meow, come here and sit on this spinster cat lady's lap!
Alright, now that I'm banned from Bakersfield, let me wrap up this review. I think most of us partook in the make your mama holler special (I just made that name up) where groups of 6 or more are allowed to get shareable appetizers (chips, chunky guac, salsa, cheese dip), the most delicious salad, and a variety of tacos for just $15 each! And it was served endless style, like they loaded us up! "Oh you need more tacos? No problem! Let me get you taken care of, sexy lady". Okay, they didn't really say sexy lady, but I'm 31 years old currently sitting in the shower, alone, while I write this so I'm gonna dream damn it!
I'd say the food and drinks were pretty tasty. Drinks are a bit pricey, but they made me happy so I'm gonna make it rain (as in, take all my money for those not up on the cool kid slang). Service was awesome, decor was western industrial?, definitely had a trendy but laid-back vibe to it. My only complaint would be that it did not appear their A/C was working. This was bad because it was 70° out and raining and they had the windows and doors open so it was super humid and warm inside. Like I'm an extra juicy babe, ya'll can't be subjecting me to those conditions unless you want to personally wipe the sweat off my body.
Okay, I'm probably gonna regret this review in the morning, but YOLO. Actually I already regret that stupid saying. I'm done. Time to watch Golden Girls.
**Update: Upon some reflection I had to dock a star for the whole hot and sweaty situation. Several members of our group complained about it and I know I felt really gross and immediately hopped in the shower when I got home. You should be using the A/C on hot and rainy days, don't be leaving those doors open and letting the humidity in, especially with it being crowded inside. If there is an issue with the A/C get it fixed ASAP cause summer is a comin'! They just opened two weeks ago so hopefully this was just a fluke. But you should definitely still check them out! Just maybe wear thin breathable fabric and have a towel to dab your face/body with.
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