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  • The Victorian Cafe was my very favorite place in Las Vegas, where I would come when I needed a little sanity, and good food. It's cheap, too, especially if you go during the hours they offer specials, which for me is when I wake up, which is 5 AM no matter what timezone I'm in. It's fun to get up in the morning, go right to a casino and see people who are still several hours away from winding down for the evening. Then over to cheap breakfast. I'll admit I didn't go to EVERY place in Las Vegas-- it has gotten just enormous, out of control. It's a nice vacation from New York because it makes you realize just how much worse New York could be. Instead of a couple people every block handing you advertising flyers and cards, you have a HUNDRED guys lining the blocks, so it's like running a gauntlet-- forcing these cards in your face, which you then see littering the sidewalks. Glossy business cards with graphic pictures and descriptions of sex with children and animals. Even for someone like me who is occasionally amused by the extreme, I was nauseated. There used to be famous cheap buffets where they pretty much paid you to eat, assuming you were gambling. There are some pretty amazing buffets, sure, but they cost much more now, and to me it just doesn't make sense to have Thanksgiving dinner more than once a year. Unless you bring you pants with plastic pockets or you have a hollow leg or something, how much do you really want to eat at one sitting? Also, I was looking for a real, actual slot machine where you put in an actual metal disk, whether a coin, which would be preferable, or a token, which would make some actual mechanical things inside spin around, and if you won, send coins cascading out the bottom. I should have done more research on this, but all I could find were slot machines that faked the sound of gears turning and printed out little receipts like an ATM. Occasionally they might have a lever you could pull that did nothing-- except make you feel like an idiot. If anyone knows where there are ACTUAL slot machines (and not just the slot machine museum) and could tell me (before I have a chance to read like one million yelp Las Vegas reviews) I'd appreciate it, and I'll hurry back out there, you now, when Hell freezes over.
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