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  • The Root has great food. It's delicious and doesn't make you feel bad about yourself afterwards because you know it's made of good stuff. Like organic and unprocessed and shit. Like this food is definitely not going to give you cancer. They are one of the few places that know how to make vegan pastries palatable in this area. I would come here more often if it didn't give me such anxiety just thinking about walking into the place. You typically have two seating options: 1) the largest table in the world that you look like an asshole if you sit there by yourself 2) the tiniest, most unstable table in the world that your cup of coffee will surely not fit onto and your soup and salad most certainly will not fit into. Don't even think about trying to balance your laptop on it. Just don't. It will be a disaster and you will be so embarassed. Also, how do we as a people vote that large group of Eastern European men playing dominos in the middle of the cafe off the island??? They take up so much space. How many chairs can they fit around that one table?? The answer: too many. I'm sorry The Root had to inherit this group. I remember them from my Caribou days. I just want to say GO HOME, WE HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN HERE! Can't you play dominos and chat about big breasted women somewhere else?* Also, open mike night just , no. I'm too old for that shit. That said, I love the Root. Dont ever leave me. *not sure if they are actually chat about big breasted women as I do not know what language they are speaking but I can only assume all they talk about is big breasted women. It seems to make the most sense.
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