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| - If I was stuck on an island with a volleyball named Wilson and had the option to eat at Lopez instead of foraging in the wild for my own food, I think I'd chose the latter. I'd risk my life alone (well, with Wilson in tow), on the island, hunting my own food instead of just popping into Lopez for an easy meal if it ever existed on my mythical deserted island. How is that for describing how less than thrilled I was of Lopez?
Now, let me preface this review by saying that the service we had was stellar. Our dude was very hospitable and nice. It wasn't his fault the place stinks. Literally. There was a foul smell coming from the men's room when I used it. It didn't exactly set a comforting tone for the meal that followed.
First came a small bag of tortillas and a very watery salsa that lacked any sort of noticeable seasoning or spice. Bland described it to a tee. But it was free, so I let it slide. Next we ordered the traditional guac. Out came a small bowl of browning, less than appealing guacamole. Again, lacking flavor. Salt or lime juice could have brightened this dish up, but neither were present. The brownish color of the guac indicated that it was pre-made, possibly sitting in the kitchen dying until we ordered. Unacceptable.
Next we ordered two entrees that were again, disappointing. How does one mess up a "smoked brisket enchilada"? That sounds amazing, right? Meh. Not really. Again, it was bland. I didn't taste any "smoke" either. A smoked brisket is technically a pastrami. The meat in this tasted more like a nitrite free Hormel brand corned beef.
Yes there are some redeeming qualities in Lopez. The decor is very southwestern-y. Vibrant colors, tile tables, open dining space, etc. The patio looks pretty charming too with all the lights strung about. But a friendly server and a cute atmosphere isn't nearly enough to make up for the abomination on a plate and ransom they ask for it.
The overall theme of Lopez seems to be that it's supremely overpriced. $9 for a basic guac made from a single avocado. $6.50 for a single taco, minimum of two per order. Enchiladas beginning at $18. An 8oz margarita made from a generic syrup concentrate cost $7.50. All of this would be perfectly acceptable mind you, if the customer got the perception of receiving value in return. Which unfortunately wasn't the case. I rarely complain of price. But the food must deliver. Lopez failed to deliver. I'll continue to forage. If anything, it'll be more fulfilling than overpaying for the blandness coming out of the Lopez kitchen.
After our meal, I tried to remember the last time, if ever, I was let down by the usually safe Mexican cuisine. I mean, even in the right context or state of mind, Taco Bell can be satisfying. It's not a hard cuisine to make good for chrissakes. I'm pretty sure the infamous Taco Tuesday's, as served by the burly hairnet wearing lunch-ladies in the school cafeteria of my elementary youth was a better experience than what we had at Lopez.
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