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  • This was my first strip club! I was dragged here by a villainous lady friend that we'll call Sue one Saturday night. Alright, to be fair I was curious so I wasn't putting up much of a fight. Big burly men keep asking you for money as you make your way up the stairs through a series of dark rooms until you finally make it into the club. There you are strong-armed into buying expensive crappy beer every twenty minutes or so by impatient waitresses. At first things were fine and we discussed the political sexuality of the strip club and the surprising diversity of body types with the dancers. I was surprised to see many of the patrons were groups of young men and women. The clientele isn't nearly as sketchy as the place was which is good. Sue doesn't drink but waitresses kept coming by to make sure we were buying drinks so we wouldn't get kicked out. Being against wastefulness and being more than a little nervous I drank it all. All that cheap beer hit me at once. Next thing you know I am tearfully telling Sue all about losing the love of my life (which apparently is my first girlfriend). I think Sue may have offered to buy me a lap dance or at least go halfsies on one in an effort to cheer me up. I don't think I could hear her over my tipsy self-flagellation. I am lucky Sue even talks to me anymore. So why one star? I don't know if it is normal strip club etiquette to be constantly shaken down for money. But at times employees and waitresses were downright rude about it. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by a tacky business model in what is at the very least a tacky industry. But somehow I still was. I don't think it helped that none of the girls could really dance.
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