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| - Ack! Another instance where I truly should have checked the reviews first. What a mistake it was to set foot in this place.
First and foremost, for a Thursday night, it took an inordinate amount of time to get a table for two. We ended up getting a nice booth, the big one directly across from the bar, right off the entrance. Pluses and minuses (comfy and fairly private, but lots of cross traffic with people hanging at the bar until their table was ready). It looked promising at the outset because our server was tending bar and we were in the one and only booth visible from the bar. It's literally four feet from the bar counter and line of sight to the bartender.
Unfortunately, looks didn't materialize into actual service. We waited far too long, probably ten minutes, before being approached to place our initial drink orders. No apology of course for the wait. Then we place our drink orders and proceed to wait another 10 minutes until they actually arrive. Again, no apology. At that point we ordered our entrees and appetizer, as well as finally being asked (why this long?) if we also want bread. Considering we were about 20 minutes in with nothing to show for it, after a 20+ minute wait to get a table, yeah, something edible might be nice. Why wasn't this brought out with the drinks?
That brings me to the first food-related gripe. The bread was completely and utterly tasteless. I mean not just bland but totally lacking flavor. How do you even manage that with wheat bread that has oats on the outside? It should at least taste of something, but I couldn't taste anything at all. Oats? Wheat? Honey? Nope. You could butter it up all you wanted, but then all you taste is literally the butter. This was like putting butter on cardboard, and that's being generous. Between all the waiting, we actually got not one, not two but three of these mini loaves of bread. They were all equally terrible, so it was not a fluke.
Next was the appetizer, which was another complete let down. We made the mistake of trying their spinach dip. This stuff was borderline inedible, it was actually that bad. Over heated, scalding hot, nasty texture, bizarre aftertaste and horrible flavor profile. Spinach and artichoke were two things you could physically see in it, but at the same time you couldn't taste them at all. I won't say I'm an aficionado, but I am a huge fan of spinach dip and I order it just about everywhere I go that has it on the menu. Having said that, this was, bar none, the absolute worst, and by a huge margin. Simply disgusting. And to make matters worse, the chips were completely unsalted and also old and stale! They tasted about as flavorless and were just as reminiscent of cardboard as the bread was. How do you screw up tortilla chips?
As part of my entree, I ordered their "steak soup" as a side, which came out next. I had high hopes, and was of course still famished at this point, seeing as how everything up to this point was basically a huge disappointment. Sadly, this soup only added to the list. Firstly, it was bland and lacked flavor (noticing a pattern?) and, secondly, it had this bizarre odor and accompanying aftertaste that was somewhere between bouillon cubes and lentil soup. Whatever it was, it only made an already uninspiring, pitiful excuse for a soup even less desirable than it already was.
The entrees eventually showed up, and once again, a huge let down. My wife's teriyaki chicken had some chunks of sauce that were literally (no lie!) as thick as grape jelly, and her side of green beans looked like something that came out of a microwave after a few too many minutes -mushy, lifeless, tasteless and just plain gross. In my case, having ordered the crispy shrimp, I was shocked to find that for twenty bucks, I ended up with less than 10 shrimp, all smaller than my thumb (inclusive of breading)! The breading was some cheap, tasteless mess, with no real seasoning and on par with what you'd get at a fast food style seafood place. The other side, which came out with the shrimp, was the mac and cheese. Surprise surprise, this was also underwhelming. While the bread crumbs and seasoning on top had some flavor, quite good actually, the microscopic macaroni itself was, again, bland and flavorless. it added insult to injury that it wasn't very warm and basically looked and tasted like something that was made several days ago and (poorly) reheated.
Normally I wouldn't hold food quality against a place so much if they at least had good service and tried to take care of us, but that didn't happen either. Our server was terrible. As I said, she was at the bar and within a few feet of the table. Still, our drinks were always empty for long stretches. Never got asked if the food was okay. Never noticed the appetizer was rejected. Didn't clear dishes until the end of our meal, by which time I had built the pyramids of Giza in the center of the table.
Unbelievably sup-bar and ridiculously overpriced. Never again.
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