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| - OK, full disclosure here; I went to Alloy about 5 months ago, so this review isn't super fresh. But honestly, I'm still seething over the experience, so I'm going to exorcise my dining demons.
I wanted to go on a nice dinner date with my boyfriend during the upcoming weekend, and I wanted to try a place neither of us had ever been to. After some research and asking around, I settled on Alloy after hearing and reading some good things.
Upon entry, the place looks pretty trendy and has a distinct Asian-Fusion thing going on. The decor was contemporary and stylish, but perhaps a little... try-hard? Something about it just seemed like a little too much. We were seated at our table promptly, and our server came around right away. He asked for our drink orders, and we said we'd have water to start. I believe our exact words were "water is fine for now". So he promptly removed our wine glasses. I didn't think anything of it, and figured he was just trying to clear some space while we chose our food.
We decided on an appetizer each, and an entree each, and placed our order. We did try to talk to our server about the specials and the food, but he didn't appear to be overly informed, nor did he seem overly interested in the food. I decided on the tuna tartar, and my boyfriend ordered the crispy duck strips. But by "tuna tartar", what they really meant was some poorly minced tuna with pre-made guacamole on top served with bland tortilla chips. By "crispy duck strips" what they really meant was borderline burnt duck chicken fingers. OK, so a disappointing and underwhelming start. But I was still hopeful for the entrees.
At this point, we decide to get some wine to go with our entrees, and we get the servers attention to place our order. He looked at us in disbelief and let out a bit of a sigh as he went to retrieve the wine glasses he'd previously removed. I felt as though we'd done something wrong, but I think the server just assumed we wouldn't be drinking, and felt put-out by having to replace our wine glasses.
Back to the food, my boyfriend ordered the lamb with couscous and roasted vegetables, and I ordered the duck leg/breast combo with gnocchi. Ugh, where do I begin. The lamb was raw. Not rare, raw. The couscous tasted like nothing, and of all things to be found in the mushy roast vegetables, was some really out-of-it's-element pineapple. On my dish, a dry duck leg with a chewy duck breast sliced and placed on top of the leg. Really weird presentation. On the side, some extremely squishy gnocchi covered in a super oily sauce that was truly reminiscent of Kraft Dinner cheese mix.
The wine was served above room temperature, and was less than stellar. Definitely not worth what we were charged. None of the meal was. We (obviously) decided to skip dessert, and just get the hell out of there. Looking back, we certainly should have sent our raw lamb and greasy gnocchi back, but we were both so gob-smacked after hearing such great things, we felt a little like we were in a twilight zone. We paid our $130 (do the math here; 2 glasses wine, 2 appetizers, 2 entrees... that averages to almost $22 PER item) bill with our jaws on the floor, and left in a silent stupor.
The next day, I did email the GM and Chef to express my concerns, as when I finally came-to from the incident, I realized I'd just dished out $130 for one of the worst meals ever. I have to say they did address my concerns and invited me back promising a better experience, and were generally good about everything. But frankly, I don't know if I can learn to trust again! I have to give a one star, and say this is a safe skip. WAY overpriced, and really truly awful food.
Based on all the good things I still hear and read about Alloy, I'm hoping I just caught them on a really, really bad night, and that their usual performance is much better.
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