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| - Wow, there aren't very many recent reviews of this place on here. Makes one wonder why the long radio silence since 2011. It probably has something to do with the fact that Hooples stays under the radar and is probably content to do just that. Hell, had it not been for the time my wife and I were told there'd be a 2 hour wait at Merwin's Wharf we'd never had wandered over either. Our impatience paid off, that's for sure.
Friday evening, sometime around 6:30. We drove up to the parking area conveniently located just adjacent to the bar/restaurant/piece of Cleveland history called Hooples. The first thing you'll probably notice, at least I did, is the large patio area to the rear of the main building. This is definitely one of the greatest features of Hooples, hands down. It overlooks the city skyline and one of the historic bridges that spans the Cuyahoga. It's just a fantastic place to be. Walk from the front, look for the arrow that reads "Patio" and you'll get there. But what about the interior?
Hoopples is a bar, there's no way around it. The interior is, well, the interior's a bar. I'm not knocking it, it's just what it is. It's maid for drinking, and bitching, and secret trists, and just generally unwinding after you've put in a full day. It's loaded with character and what I can only assume are decades of stickers and stories all over the walls. I really love the rotating refrigerator behind the bar. There's a digital juke on the wall, some vintage-y looking bowling game, sports memorabilia, a dart board, and apparently they've got live music in their "party room". We didn't experience either music or the aforementioned room.
As for drinks, it's basically a shot & beer joint with a half-way decent beer selection. I don't remember being given a beer list when we sat down but as soon as they guy mentioned Butcher & The Brewer Stop Hop Kaboom on draught, I knew what I'd be drinking. It's not a craft beer bar, but you'll manage. Ask about their bottles. They just might surprise you.
The service we had during our visit was simply great. I don't know how else to put it other than it was genuine. It's exactly what I'd expect from a real Cleveland spot run by lifelong Clevelanders. No bullshit. No pretense. Just friendly, helpful and accommodating. I never once felt like I was imposing.
While it may just be a bar, they're a bar that serves food. Damn good bar food. Makes sense, right? The kitchen - really more of a coat closet with an oven and deep fryer - is just to the left when you walk in the door. I don't know how they manage with that thing, but they do. The menu's not huge and I think our server mentioned that they were in the process of revamping it so I won't go into any detail. From what I remember it was burgers, sandwiches/wraps a few salads. Not mind-blowing but hunger killing. It was to be a gut-busting session, indeed.
We started with the Hoopples House Salad - just a salad, nothing more. Iceberg lettuce, cukes, carrots, onions, house-made croutons (nice, albeit greasy touch), diced tomatoes and a pile of shredded cheddar. It served the purpose of a salad which, lets face it, is just there to make you feel less shitty for cramming your face later. I did think that the plate they served it on made it nearly impossible to eat without getting half of it on the table. The Italian dressing was tasty, though.
Next came the buffalo chicken dip. As soon as I saw it I felt my heart react to the message my brain was sending it. "Best get yer mind right. This is 'bout to happen." I don't know what evil genius decided to combine Frank's Red Hot, cream cheese, blue cheese crumbs, and cheddar, pour it over some shredded chicken and serve it with fried pita wedges, but give that man a hand. If you've never had what some people call "drunk food" go here and have this.
The burgers are hand-formed, griddled and made to order. Just like the rest of the place, burgers here are not loaded with ridiculous, expensive ingredients and I doubt they'd get away with trying to sell Wagyu beef burgers for $16. They also don't ask how you want 'em cooked. It's their way, so just deal. I got the bacon pepperjack and the wife got the mushroom melt. Both were devoured in minutes and the skin-on shoestring fries joined them. Just damn good burgers.
Hoopples is a piece of Cleveland that I just recently discovered. I can remember driving by it for years on my way to work in the Flats. It looks better now than it did then. I wish I had found it sooner. Maybe I just wasn't ready yet. I am now.
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