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| - One of my dear friends who was born and raised here had NEVER been to the Hoover Dam (sad I know). I decided it would be great to ride our bikes through the Railroad Tunnels. We went out and bought cool flashlights for our bikes and other gear, but he thought he was way too cool for a helmet and opted out of safety for swag. On the day of the ride, we unloaded our bikes and just as I expected he started feeling guilty for not buying a helmet. He kept pointing out how EVERYONE was wearing a helmet and he was feeling like an idiot. (DUH!)
As we rode up the hill toward the tunnels, biker after biker waved at me but not him.
"How come I'm not getting any waves?" He asked. I lied and told him, "Because I have a helmet. It's a insider thing!" LOL...he actually believed me.
I couldn't wait to get in a tunnel and use my high powered ($20 haha) flashlight. I just knew there were bats hanging from the ceiling tunnels. As I rode through, all this dust started to stir up from the speed and I didn't care about bats anymore. It was dusty, and smelled like pee! We rode until we got to a small little rest stop area, and realized it was a Porta Potty. I can't STAND those. It's wierd, but if someone vomits near me, it won't make me sick. When I was younger, I remember there was a real front row surgery channel that aired on a local California station. I'd eat my spaghetti and watch it with no problem. For some reason, I loose my lunch in a Porta Potty! The whole time I'm squatting to pee, I'm DRY HEAVING! (TMI--but it's true).
Finally after much flat road through the tunnels--there was some challenges to the ride. There was some hills that kicked my ass and I had to get off my bike and walk it. Then, hard-headed as I am, we saw a sign "WALK YOUR BIKE" because of the extremely winding road. I decided I was NOT going to do what the sign said and like a dumbass I nearly broke my neck and fell down the hill. I already had a horrible incident previously (see my Pittman Wash review), I didn't need another one. I got off my bike just in time before breaking a bone, and did what I should have done at first.
After you see that particular sign you are pretty much at the back parking lot of the Hoover Dam. Unfortunately there is another sign. "NO BIKES AT THE HOOVER DAM, PARK YOUR BIKE." WTF????!!!!!
My lock was on my bike, but my key was in the car! My friend came up with a brillant idea that we should leave our bikes. A couple was there, who had just finished the tour and was unlocking their bikes. I was against it--since I JUST bought this bike, and he was for it, surprisingly because this was the first time he'd ridden his new bike. I wasn't very happy as he convinced me that nothing would be stolen. If we returned and they were stolen--he'd buy me a new one. Ughh, I could just hear Judge Judy yelling at me now. I watched the couple ride away making faces as if they were thinking, "Yeah, their bikes aren't gonna be there when they get back." and I wondered---"I bet they're the ones that would steal them."
We walked around the dam and my mind kept replaying someone riding off with my beloved bike. Then I kept seeing myself coming upon the rack and seeing it empty and then crying. (Yes I would.)
Oddly enough, as we peered over and looked at the horrendous fall into the dam, our conversation turned cynical. We started talking about people committing suicide and they have to hit their heads on certain areas FIRST before hitting the water. Somehow it drifted to, "Where would you jump?".....
Getting the creeps, we stopped playing the "What if" game and went over to those angelic looking statues. Those statues have always reminded me of "THE NEVERENDING STORY." They were the samein the movie--only they were women with MASSIVE BREAST. I wonder if the artist was inspired by that?
Looking at the clock we decided we better head back up. The crowd was collecting near the elevators and I was beginning to panic. I needed to find my bike!
Feeling like Pee Wee Herman, I anxiously watched as people hit EACH button for the elevator levels. HURRY DAMN IT!
When our floor finally arrived, we decided it was better if we run. NOW he was worried! When we got to the top, there was our BIKES! Unharmed WITH our equipement still attached! PHEW! I will never do that again and I'm adding that as a tip below!
Riding back is pretty much all uphill and I woudn't recommend doing legs at the gym the day before like I did. I decided enough playing around and pedaled non stop until I got back to the car. I had to do this with no beats! NO RECEPTION up there. I "smoked" my friend as he didn't have the lungs to make it full speed up the hills, and when he finally caught up to me at the parking lot, I acted like I was on my 75th push up. (More like #5).....
The tunnels are what you make it. A nice ride or a beast of a workout. Just bring a lock AND key with you if you want to tour the Hoover Dam.
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