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| - I am not a normal patron of McDonald's. I make it a goal in life never to step foot in these nasty soulless establishments, but AMEX was offering 5$ off of 5$, so I went into this place (looks as good as a McD can look from the outside) and as soon as I step foot I notice there are napkins all over the floor like if it was a part of the new tiling scheme or something.
I grasp my Chipotle bag a bit closer. Get in queue.
There is this guy in one of the front-row stools facing the action at the registers that is praying over his poor, chemical/GMO laboratory-concocted excuse for 'food'. I thought I entered one of those live art installations I learned about in Art Appreciation and on World's Dumbest (which my girlfriend watches, not me!). Try to ignore him.
Finally, after what seems like fifteen minutes (how is it that Chipotle next door not only took my order immediately, but had my food bagged and charged in less amount of time and it is REAL FUCKING FOOD?), I reach a really short Latina lady that seems like she has zero happiness left in her life and she wishes she was in whichever state in whatever country she is originally from instead of here.
"Good afternoon."
::weird look:: from the cashier
"Five dollar gift card, please."
"Fif dolla."
"Yes, ma'am."
I try to hand her my CC in an awkward misunderstanding on procedure at McDonald's in 2012.
She points at the self-serve CC machine aggressively angry.
Seconds later, I am about to slide my card and she updates me on breaking development: no cards for gift card; cash only.
"Uh, really. Cancel that then."
I walk out in defeat.
I have asked around regarding this seemingly concocted policy rule and was told to go to a nicer McDonald's. Well, it's really relative, because there is no such thing as a 'nice' McDonald's, simply varying levels of shittiness accompanying your shit faux-food. - E
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