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| - Ahhh the infamous Heart Attack Grill.
Listen, I am all for food that is bad for you.
There is a place in this world for it, and I will defend that place in the world as I would defend my own country from invasion.
However, when food is not good for you, it better taste good.
This is the failure of the Heart Attack Grill.
-When a burger is 8000,6000,4000, or 2000 calories, it better be in the top 10 of all time burgers. This is more like the bottom 10.
The burgers here are SOOOOOO GREASY.
If I went back I'd ask them for some burger with my grease.
Now let me say, I'm not that guy who wipes off his greasy food with a napkin and THEN eats. When I seek out grease, bring it on. But the burger is so thoroughly and completely greased inside and out that there is no burger taste. Pure disappointment.
-The fries, cooked in pure lard, were actually excellent. I almost gave this place 2 stars for that, but then I realized this is actually why I am giving it 1 star.
-I do like the coke bottled in Mexico with actual sugar, not corn syrup or whatever the hell we use here. That was a plus.
-I don't smoke, so I did not partake of the unfiltered lucky strike lung darts.
-The wait staff. Wow, they aren't wearing much. We had a cute waitress, who would sit on the counter, and my sister realized that more of her butt was in contact with the counter than not. She was playing the role well. Flirty, dingy. There were some other waitresses that were probably 20 years her elder. I will not comment further for fear it may incriminate me.
-The atmosphere.....White and Red, like In N Out or 5 Guys Burgers. Wheelchairs for people who eat triple or quadruple bypasses. What no Lipitor? I would bet money that the scary dude who sat next to us ogling the cute waitress for an hour was registered in the state as a sex offender, or at least on some FBI watch-list.
I will leave you with the following thought as you ponder my lack of recommendation for The Heart Attack Grill.
Someone said this place makes Hooters look classy. ACTUALLY this place makes the Crazy Horse Too in Las Vegas look classy.
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