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  • Before we start, I need to disclose a conflict of interest: I'm a member of PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals. Ok, moving forward, I see zoos as a place of conservation and education. While this place was once that type of spot (and a damn good spot at that), the zoo, much like the city I was born and raised in has gone to complete shit over the last ten years. Ever since the legendary zookeeper Peter Karsten departed, animals drop dead every year, and like a good Calgary business, everything here has evolved into chasing the almighty dollar and expanding things to unsustainable levels. The zoo now hosts: singles dances, banquets, weddings, and the fucking zoo lights. What the fuck? Is this a really bad theme park or a zoo? Don't zoos close early for the health of the animals? Are the polar bears and penguins this zoo wants to acquire attractions or biological artifacts that can be studied? The motives are pretty obvious here.... regardless, the collections of animals this zoo has are impressive for the piss ant polluted town that we are. So, if you don't care about the utter mismanagement, and you're going to skip the most depressed looking elephants ever, this is a decent place to spend your money to fund the zoo's next half baked project. Compared to other zoos such as Houston, San Diego and Chicago (FREE!), Portland, Berlin, and even fucking Krakow in Poland, the grounds and buildings, much like Calgary itself, are very uninspired and underwhelming. Honestly, the zoolights are fucking lame. Zoos are supposed to be sanctuaries for animals, not kitschy attractions for families and boring couples. But what do I know, this city just raves over the Christmas lights and ice carvings that you have to pay to witness on private property. Too bad our city doesn't rave over nice looking bridges and buildings.
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