| rev:text
| - I can't tell you how excited I was to try this restaurant. I had read some good reviews, the website looked fantastic, and having recently returned from Istanbul, I was craving kabobs and hookah like nobody's business. Sadly, this place just didn't deliver.
For one, the ambiance (which is allegedly inspired by Salvador Dali) was a 10 when it comes to concept, but a 0 when it comes to execution. A lot of the design elements, including the DJ area, looked really homemade. I didn't see any of the "world-class art" or "intricate details" the website boasts. And the focal point of the space - a giant tree - looked more like an oversized piñata than anything. The site promises that "a transition from dining to nightlife is marked with a dramatic shift through which the room is divided into 'heaven' and 'hell' in a bold display of light, video, and sound," but that was an overpromise if I've ever heard one. The space never "transformed," there was no "nightlife" to speak of, and the only sounds we heard were odd karaoke-like tracks of almost-indecipherable pop songs.
We arrived at roughly 6:30, and the place was dead. I am certain the employees outnumbered the guests. That should have been a red flag. The drink menu had lots of interesting specialty cocktails, but not much variety. We tried a few different options, and most disappointed. In fact, one drink was just plain icky. I figured that when my fellow diner ordered something else, obviously to replace the bad beverage, the waitress would offer to bring it gratis. She didn't. But that was the least of my complaints.
We ordered several starters, including the hummus and the filet tartar. The hummus was bland (a theme that ran throughout the meal) and the tartar was, well, invisible. The chef actually came out and presented us with a completely different dish because the tartar is apparently going off the menu. What he presented was called "Red, White, and Blue." But part-way through his explanation of the name (red for the beef carpaccio, white for the white truffle oil, and blue for the blue cheese), he realized he had forgotten the blue cheese and took it back into the kitchen to finish it. I just found it presumptuous that he ignored our order, brought us something completely different (that we ultimately didn't enjoy), but still charged us for the item we originally ordered.
When we ordered the kabobs, they came with an assortment of sauce options, all served on the side. The sauces SOUNDED amazing: a garlic sauce, a house tzatziki, a cabernet sauce (I think), a shawarma gravy, etc. I completely forgave the apps and cocktails, knowing that these kabobs (slathered in delectable sauces) would win me over. After all, how do you screw up a kabob? As long as you don't overcook it or undercook it, it's just roasted meat!
When they arrived, I resisted the urge to dip straight into that shawarma gravy, and instead chomped down a bite of chicken. It was bland as can be. I don't know how they did it, but Nu managed to zap all the flavor out of the meat. There wasn't even that char, roasty goodness characteristic of kabobs. No salt, nothing. It was like they boiled the meat, put it on a stick, and somehow painted char marks on it so it looked fire roasted. Sadly, the beef and lamb were the same. No flavor whatsoever. So I turned to the sauces, which I prayed would save what had been a disappointing experience at best and an unpleasant one at worst. They were almost similarly flavorless. And there was no salt or pepper on the tables. Ugh.
As we finished our meal, our waitress dished about some patrons at the bar who annoy her. While I appreciated the personality, I found it a little unprofessional.
The only saving grace was the hookah. We tried the firewater one, as I'd read good things, and it was nice. It didn't bring me back to Sultanahmet, but it was enjoyable.
According to the website, "nu" means "naked" in French, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that the concept is "naked" food without any marinades, spices, salt, pepper, or flavoring of any kind. But if that's the concept, I fear there's a fundamental flaw Nu won't likely recover from. I probably would have walked out half-way through the meal, but we had a Restaurant.com certificate burning a hole in our pocket. Sadly, I won't be back to see if a conceptual course-correction ever comes to fruition and saves this place from its flavorless existence.
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