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| - Where to start. I was in town for the weekend and decided to go to the Bagel Burlesque Expo brunch here. Doors were at noon, show at 1:00. I've been to burlesque brunches in other cities before and generally like them a lot; I know that I'll probably be sitting at a table with people I don't know and might have to turn my seat to see the show, but it's a full brunch with burlesque, and you can roll out at 10 AM or later and be home with time for a nap and catch a show. What's not to love? And this show included a buffet brunch in the ticket price, so it was a great deal.
So first I want to say the organizers of the burlesque expo were great through all this, definitely cared about the experience and doing a good job (full disclosure, I knew some of the out of town performers and a volunteer at the expo, but I don't know the organizers). The problem was definitely with the venue. Doors opened at 12:00, and I got there at 12:30. I saw a performer I knew who told me there'd been a change. Instead of being on the main floor, we were in the much tinier upstairs. The lower floor was dead empty when I got there. I had bought my ticket in advance, but since the space was so much smaller than what the organizers booked, there were no seats left. The organizers conjured up a seat at the back, and I went to get food. There were no forks or knives, only small plates, and the hot food was gone. Surely with half an hour to show time they'd bring more! They did not. I grabbed half a bagel, but I'm allergic to wheat, and my mouth started to react (I'll spare you the details of what that was like, but believe me you don't want to experience this happening to your mouth), and in pain I was left with no food options. Thankfully I knew a volunteer who came over because I am not exactly the person going to complain and demand my money back because a buffet has food I'm allergic to. The volunteer asked the kitchen to bring me a plate of eggs and bacon since I couldn't eat the stuff left and apparently the kitchen was not providing more buffet food. Again, before the show had even started. So thirty minutes later, after the show started, someone brings me my food.
Now I have eaten a lot of diner food. Nothing like a week of driving through the American Southwest teaches you to be less finicky about diner food. So when I read reviews saying "the food was swimming in oil," I usually do not refrain from eating there and assume it's the exact right amount of grease. Oh honey. These eggs were swimming in oil. At first I thought the tomatoes on the side must have leaked juice or something because there was a distinct puddle of wet. It was oil. The bacon was super crispy, which thankfully I like, but the eggs sat in my stomach like a brick, and I haven't been able to eat much all day since those eggs at a little past 1:00. It's 8:30 now.
Literally every good thing about my experience was because of the organizers busting their backsides for the audience and counteracting the venue:
-switching the show to a too-small space
-not providing sufficient food, cutlery, and plates, even when there were clearly people getting a "brunch" of untoasted bagels and croissants
-having remarkably slow service AND I AM EUROPEAN. I know from slow service.
And then finally the food wasn't even good! Bleh. Thank goodness the show was fun (best stage hand "ladies" ever, made between acts a hilarious part of the show). But next time I'm in town I will steer clear of this place. If it takes half an hour to get eggs in oil on a dead Sunday afternoon when there were supposed to be eggs ready to go, I cannot imagine what it is like on a Friday night.
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