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| - Do you ever think that you're on Punk'D? Or on that ABC show "What Would You Do with John Quinones"?
I was hoping to G-O-D me and my in-laws were on that show. That would have explained why our experience at Sylvia's was so horrific.
I was silently praying that a pseudo celebrity or the "Great John Q." himself would come out of the kitchen with several cameras and a boom mic to get our surprised reaction to the awful food and the restaurant's terrible manager.
Well, that didn't happen. So, let me tell you what did.
My wife, her family and I went to Sylvia's for dinner on Wednesday night. It was about 8:30 when we rolled into the parking lot. The restaurant closes at 10PM.
"We're good," we thought. We hate being those people who come in half an hour before close.
We walk in to the restaurant and approach the hostess who also became our waitress for the evening.
"Five, please," we tell her. She looks at us like she doesn't know what to do. The restaurant looks empty. We think there shouldn't be a problem for seating. But she says to us, "we don't have any tables for your party, I'll be right back."
She runs into the kitchen and returns a few minutes later. She says she can seat us in the bar area.
Hmmm. We took that as "Oh, we've already cleaned the restaurant area. We'll put you in the bar so we don't have to clean that part again."
We follow her lead and she honestly seats us in the dark. The bar is so dark. It's so cold and the music is so loud.
At this point, my brother-in-law says, "I don't want to eat here anymore, can we go?"
We try to make the best of the cold, dark, LOUD bar, but after a few minutes we can't take it anymore. I took it upon myself to ask the waitress if we could be re-seated in the dining area.
She looked very shocked at the request. I told her the bar area was just way too cold. She smiles and says to me, "That's fine. Just pick a table".
Her telling us that there weren't any tables for us in the dining room initially was way wrong, because we found one just fine.
We re-seat ourselves and she comes back and gets our drink orders and brings some chips. Honestly, she was nice. She had good customer service skills and was very polite. I thought this would be the turn of our evening for a good night.
No.
She brings out the flour chips and they were A-W-F-U-L. My mother-in-law, who is really easy going by the way, said it tasted like it was fried in "rancid oil". After tasting it, I was inclined to agree.
We thought, "Well, it is the end of the day. Maybe these are just the chips that weren't eaten during the day."
We get over it. A few minutes later, our waitress comes back and takes our order.
It's about 8:45 at this point. The family orders Mexican food and I ordered their green chili burger. Pretty simple stuff right?
WRONG.
Half an hour later.
My wife gets her food brought out to her. My mother and father-in-law get theirs. Then, my brother-in-law.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Your burger will be out in TWO minutes," said the waitress.
"Gee, that sucks," I think to myself. "It's only two minutes."
"That's fine," I said to the waitress.
I look over at my wife's food and she says I could have some. I take a bite of the rice and I almost threw up in my mouth.
The rice tasted like it was cooked in bleach.
I grabbed my napkin and spit it out. My wife and mother-in-law look at me as if I'm crazy.
"That's disgusting," I said to them.
They both tasted it. They looked like they were going to puke too. My mom-in-law suggested that we tell the waitress the rice was horrible, but my wife said "Let's wait until he gets his burger."
I'm sitting at the table. I'm watching my family eat their food. I look at the clock on the wall above the kitchen.
2 minutes goes by.
Then 10.
Then 20.
During that entire time, the waitress was a no-show. She didn't come to say "You're food is coming right up. I'm sorry about this." Nothing.
Instead, I got to see everyone eat. They all said their food was "alright", but have had it better here before.
At 25 minutes after the woman said 2 minutes, I see her coming to the table with my burger.
She apologized.
At this point, it's not even worth eating. I tell her that everyone in my party has already eaten their food. This was out almost half-an-hour later than she said it would be.
I told her I don't think we should pay for this. She said, you're right. Would you like me to get a box for you?
Still hungry. I said yes.
Then comes the manager. He walks to us like he wants to pick a fight. He stops in front of our table and I'm waiting for him to say he's sorry about the service and that it's not reflective of what they normally are like.
No. He's pissed. He's mad that I'm taking the burger and not paying for it. I call him out and say they have terrible service. My mom-in-law chimes in and said everything was horrible. He ignores us, walks away and the burger was comped.
I WILL NEVER BE BACK.
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