3 Reasons the Hard Rock is just the Hippest Debauchery Zone in Vegas:
1. The best looking hookers in Vegas - they all look like Pussycat Dolls on their heroin break, with cleverly done boob jobs and botoxed poofy lips, sauntering along with a feline bumpity bump that broadcasts "Skank and Proud", porn stars who like their job. If you can't pick out a hooker in 30 seconds at the HR then you're asexual as an amoeba.
2. Pool parties all weekend - if you don't mind wading through muddy brown water full of drunken lusty crowds of thrusting painfully beautiful spring break escapists all trying to have sex with each other. Was this what ancient Rome was like near the end?
3. The people really are better looking here, mostly Socals, mostly fit and tan and Aryan and OC/Hills Abercrombie. Too bad they're also mostly deuche bags!
I was going to try to make this funny but I've got nothing right now, I'm spent. I'll try to fix this later.