| rev:text
| - arrive on time and are told there will be a wait (as always at cleaver - whatever). They were self-assuredly kind enough to offer a round of prosecco on the house -- nice, differentiating touch. Then we get to the 30-minute mark of waiting outside in the cold for our table and I request another round on the house. Waiter obliges and brings it over making it clear that it's also on the house. We finally get seated about 55 minutes after initial reservation. As we are being walked to table "manager" apologizes profusely for delay and says first round is on the house. So we decide to order great cocktails to start even though plan was to just drink wine. fast forward through a good meal with great food and company; we even made friends with the girl at the next table. Service returns to gruesomeness when the check comes. Collectively we were under the United understanding that we were getting a total of three drinks comped. Waitress thinks it's just one. Politely set her straight and get the earlier waiter involved, remind him that we requested the second prosecco be comped and he explicitly stated it was comped when we delivered it to our table. He relented. Then it comes to our attention that the first round was also on the bill, and both the waitress and the waiter want to fight us. I request manager. This is when things get theatrical. We engage in respectful but forceful pushback on the bill and he responds with vitriol colored by years of disillusionment. He says we should be grateful that the first two drinks were comped and forget comping the third. We remind him that we were outside for an HOUR in windy 8C weather with improper heatlamps (they're there but do positively nothing) and that's when he flashes into a memory of himself as an angry father beating his children (meanwhile were being far humbler than necessary by "apologizing for miscommunication"). He yells at us for changing the reservation from 8 to 6 to 4 and says we should count our blessings because no one yelled at us before. (For the record, we diligently called to shrink the reservation, giving ample notice, and when we were finally escorted from the freezing patio over an hour after our reservation the waiter appeared relieved that we were 4, not 6, because otherwise he wouldn't have had another table and there would've been no hope for us). Then the manager absolutely loses his calm and bellows that we should never come back to the restaurant. EVER. IN OUR LIVES. So let's be real and recapitulate this dysfunction. We are left to freeze for an hour to have to demand second prosecco, everything is made okay by the promise that first round of cocktails is on the house. Then he kicks us out in a fit of anger, even though he and his team entirely screwed us over, and we were obviously more than convinced to never go back anyway. The waitress was as incredulous as we were at his actions but couldn't do much. I asked her if he has anger issues and she said she couldn't answer...that's a yes.
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