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| - 13th Floor is part of a haunted house "franchise" that has a couple of other locations; the one in Denver is where it all started, and is a legend unto itself. If you visit the Denver website, you can view videos about the house, and you will see repeatedly that USA Today included 13th Floor in their list of "Top 13 Haunted Houses in America."
The Arizona incarnation leaves something to be desired. Located in a rented-out strip mall in a seedy part of Bell Avenue, 13th Floor does not impress you from the get-go. What you do notice right away is the crowd of hundreds of people lined up to get inside and get spooked. I took this as a good sign, even though we showed up half an hour after they opened.
Buy your tickets online if you can. There is a line of hundreds to get in the house, and a similar line for tickets as well. If you're a patient person, and you want some time to build up the anticipation and adrenaline by being surrounded by a ton of giddy and jumpy people, go for the lines. They have actors with chainsaws and creepy makeup pacing around, scaring the easy targets, posing for pictures, and giving you a preview of what's to come.
The actual haunted house is nothing special. If you've been to one before, you'll see it all again. You have actors in creepy makeup and clothing jumping out at you, slamming things against the wall or floor, and getting up in your face. There are rooms you're led through themed as grisly, defiled homes, kitchens, and hallways; there was a pirate-themed area, and a misty jungle to walk through. I was disappointed in the lack of jumps in that area; the scare potential among the close-pressing fog, bushes, and trees was great. (I wish I had been able to go through more slowly to admire the props and background setup; everything was something you've seen before, but it was beautifully set up. 13th Floor may not have scared me, but they get points for attention to detail.)
One thing that I'll admit I've never seen before was the usage of partially closed garage doors placed in strategic areas. Open only a foot or two from the floor, an actor would get a running start and slide on his knees out from under the door and then pop up next to you. The first time or two I saw this, it was downright hilarious; this does not seem to be an easy or very practiced thing for the actors to do, and some of them ate it or slammed into my legs like they were trying to take me out. (The actors are not supposed to/allowed to touch you.)
I will admit that I'm not an easy person to scare. I'm not jumpy or unnerved by the dark, loud sounds, or people lunging at my face suddenly. (When you take care of a toddler all day, you develop a sort of Clint Eastwood hardness and eventually lose your flinching reflex.) There were, however, people all around me screaming their heads off in terror. One girl was even sobbing. If that isn't a testament to 13th Floor's fear factor, I don't know what is.
The fatal flaw of my visit was the fact that the event staff was not separating the groups for long enough time periods. Things cease to be scary when you're basically part of a continuous shuffling line of people. You're rushed, and you can see ahead of you what's about to pop out of that dark corner, because you just watched the group ahead of you deal with it. Our total time going through the house was 13 minutes. (Yes, I timed it.)
We paid $35 per person to get a VIP ticket, which gives you access to a much shorter line; regular admission is $25. Had I paid half that amount, I would have written this off as an unusual, fun activity to try out on a Saturday night. However, losing nearly forty bucks on this snooze stings.
If our group of 4 was alone, hearing only the distant screams of other people ahead of us, then I could up 13th Floor another star, rating it as A-Okay. As it stands now, however, my experience was thoroughly 2-star.
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