rev:text
| - I won't be giving this particular store a review, but the chain, itself. Having visited several locations and actually lived in an apartment across the road from the Eglinton West location, I've seen it all: The good, the bad and the Biscuit.
I can't decide to give Popeye's 1 star or 5. It's not merely the inconsistencies in service, but sometimes it's just that you unapologetically WANT some greasy fried chicken! I liken the entire scenario of ordering Popeyes to watching Porn (back when you had to go to the store and rent it)--it occurs in three phases:
Craving
Mmmmm.... you know you want that greasy, crispy, hot and juicy fried chicken. You mouth waters and you think about how good it will taste. Maybe you've seen a little advertising fluffer on a billboard or TV and you can't get the need out of your head. But it's sort of dirty, you know? Like, maybe you don't want your friends to see you doing it, or anyone to see you walking in to that Popeyes's store, because it might mean a whole slew of dirty things about the person you are or your personal habits. But you're need for Chicken satisfaction overrides any embarrassment you might feel about walking in to that Popeye's store. You justify: After all, you're only human, right?
You do it. You go. And you order waaay too much chicken-- also some of those biscuits that are nothing but hydrogenated vegetable oil and white flour. You take it home, sit in front of the TV with the lights off and GORGE!
Satisfaction
You fast forward through the biscuits and go straight for that chicken. And you LOVE that freaking chicken. Like I mean, it's so hot, a little spicy and ohhh so juicy!! Oh god, this is the best chicken you've ever had... why don't you eat this EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME??? Yeah, it's dirty, but dirty-good, and so are you for eating it, really dirty, like actually FILTHY!! THE DIRTIEST FREAKING CHICKEN YOU'VE EVER EATEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
Three pieces of Chicken later and now it's...
SHAME
Oh, God. I can't look at the box anymore. That orange box reminds me of how dirty I am. I'm really bad and I'm sure I gained 5 pounds in my ass alone (This part of he guilt is akin to having to return said rented porn), and everyone will see. I'm never eating that chicken again. Oh, never... I feel sick. I may even need a shower.
Thankfully, in this modern age, POPEYE'S DELIVERS so you can avoid all the embarrassment at the store, bypassing the whole process of face to face need and despair. What's next? On line chicken orders?
AND it comes in white or dark meat!
|