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  • One star because McDonald's is not food... it's engineered matter that just happens to be edible. But I thought I'd review this McDonald's in particular. It's the last McDonald's I ever ate at. The year was 2004 and in the dark of night, in the cool spring air, my friends and I stumbled out of a casino, drunk from free beer and poor from expensive gambling. It was 5:00 AM and although our appetites were ginormous, our options were limited. We happened upon this McDonald's where they were offering double cheeseburgers for $0.99. I ordered three. My companions followed suit. We sat down among the other customers: three older men sparsely seated and desperate to stay awake lest they be thrown out in the street amongst the crumpled pornographic business cards. One man chewed with his eyes closed. Another bobbed his head up and down. Either he was falling in and out of sleep or agreeing with everything. The last man was not so far gone but was the dirtiest of them all. Once our burgers were consumed, we headed out. I was glad to leave... only sleep lay before me now.
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