| rev:text
| - I went to the worst wedding here. Yeah, this review is going to make me sound like a total bitch. I hope the bride and groom never read this! I felt like a jerk the whole time because I couldn't shut my brain off. I just kept thinking about how much it sucked.
First, I'm not one of those girls who always dreamed of the day she would get married. I used to carry around a briefcase when I was five and Barbie was always single. Don't get me wrong, she and Ken had some good times but Barbie always had too many admirers to settle down... including my Prince Charles doll, who always cheated on Diana with Barbie. I share this because you should know I'm not usually into all the lovey-dovey wedding crap and so this review is probably biased.
The hotel was under construction, so the bar was closed. CLOSED! Oh, the horror. I had to endure my least favorite part of the ceremony sober. I hate when the bride and groom use sand as some sort of symbolism that I just don't get. You know, when they take turns pouring it into a glass and as the sand becomes one so do they... or some crap like that.
The wedding was held outside in the garden... the garden isn't actually a garden, they just call it that. I think it could look nice, but I'm a stickler for detail and I had to keep myself from internally nitpicking. I don't even want to say what bothered me, because like I said earlier, I will look like a real bitch. I'll just share one thing. I couldn't help but notice as the bridal party made their way down the aisle that the carpet was taped down with big chunks of uneven tape. It seemed like such a lazy thing to do in order to keep a piece of carpet down and it looked horrible. I've seen their website, so I know this place can look better than it did. Just saying, if you're going for the bare bones- save your money and elope. Do people not do this anymore?!
I'm not sure where the reception was held. It was in a separate building across the parking lot. Like I said, I think this place leaves a lot to be desired if you are planning on just showing up and taking it as is. Jeeze, I must have been cranky from alcohol deprivation.
Anyway, some other details for you in case you're looking at the Sheraton for your wedding. The food wasn't bad and that was a surprise considering everything else. They will take care of you there.
In the end, the highlight of the night was the best man's speech. The bride's family was extremely religious so it made his speech all the more enjoyable. You see, the groom was a bit of a promiscuous creature and his best man (and brother) decided to talk about his porn collection and the time he caught him jacking off- IN THE FREAKIN' WEDDING TOAST. One woman actually escorted her children outside in disgust. It was horrifyingly hilarious.
So, I'm not sure my review is really going to help anyone, but maybe it will at least give you an idea of what a wedding at the Sheraton Crescent might be like.
Uh, by the way, no offense to anyone.
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