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| - Do you like to shop for clothing in a posh, relaxing environment? Do you like peruse in a spacious, pressure-free environment with excellent, attentive customer service? Do you enjoy being greeted with a friendly hello by your polite, respectful fellow patrons?
If so, exit Last Chance, hop in your car and drive to Biltmore Fashion Mall on 24th and Camelback, where they'll offer all the comfort and amenities you could desire of a shopping experience.
Last chance has none of these qualities. It is a truly repugnant shopping environment. If you have a personal bubble, leave. If you need a customer service representative to provide you suggestions and to put together an outfit for you, this isn't for you. If you have never played a contact sport, or if you believe in the statement "cheaters never win," you probably won't fit in. This is chaos. This anarchy. I love it.
I would come here just to enjoy the mosh pit, but the added benefit is that you can find decent deals on clothing and accessories ranging from the bizarre to the extravagant to the torn, dirty and abused. You know that "pre-worn" look? They have it here, and it's actually pre-worn.
I love bringing out-of-town guests here, just for the mayhem. A second-hand shopper fanatic friend of mine was in town from Seattle. I brought her to Last Chance and she found a her dream purse - a $4000 Gucci in pristine condition on sale for $900 right down the aisle from a line of abused, torn, second-hand leather jackets that she left on the rack. Where else do you find such an absurd spectrum of clothing? The men's section has less variety but is a great way to get necessities like shorts, tanks and t-shirts on the cheap.
A few suggestions for Last Chance:
- Embrace the hate. Instead of telling customers not to push, shove or jostle, give them all machetes and switchblades and let them pay the iron price.
- Whenever a section opens up, announce it over the intercom by playing Drowning Pool's "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor."
- Stop pretending that customer service is a thing here. Give each service rep a pair of leather gloves. Whenever a customer asks a question, authorize them to take off a glove and smack the customer in the face.
- Time for a name change. Last Chance? I think "Final Destination" is more appropriate.
Even without these changes I'm still giving Last Chance 5 stars, and I'd give more if I could. Notice there are generally two types of reviews here: 5 star people and 1 star people. I submit to you a theory. They aren't reviewing Last Chance, they are rather assessing their own fitness for survival in the wild.
Great For: The Ironborn
Not great for: Saltwives, pampered princelings, or the weak of heart
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