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  • Warning: If you've ever been called a "cracker", consider yourself strongly Republican, have excellent hygiene, or are highly carnivorous, leave now. Just go. I'll wait. For whoever is left, here's the deal: This is a totally-indie-hipster-vegan-chill-sesh kind of place. You can interpret that as you will, but if eau de scenester and staff with disconcerting facial hair bothers you, leave now. Personally, I enjoy it, save for the ridiculous people, art, and "I'm-trying-so-hard-that-I'm-not-trying" vibe emanating from the ridiculous people. If you subtract all the weird hullabaloo, it's just a casual place to get some coffee and tasty noms. I'd say the food is slightly healthier than Green, but not healthy enough to be considered "one of those sh*tty vegan places". The painted exterior and overall decor give Conspire an urban vibe that's pretty hard to find in Phoenix, save for in this little nugget of town. Plus, the place is split up into a few rooms, so privacy is not only possible, but plausible. Hooray! On to the edible portion... the aztec end burrito is a good deal. It's a tortilla with vegan cheese, rice, beans, and a few veggies that comes with a side of hummus and flax chips. The only issue was that the food took 30 minutes... I mean it was First Fridays, but regardless, people sometimes get murdered when I'm really hungry and feeling neglected. I strongly recommend the vegan doughnuts with a black coffee. It's like cop food, only you're too cool to be a cop, you little pseudo anarchist vegan, you. If you'd like to wade into the waters of the modern hipster, check this place out. But like I said, if you fit into any of the upper criteria, speed away in your BMW to a trustworthy, popular chain that sells monogrammed mugs and only has one kind of milk.
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