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| - This place is probably the one and only reason why Toronto sucks so so so very much. The oozing infantile passive aggression that permeates the atmosphere in here is why Toronto sucks so much. The texting to tell you that your table won't be ready for another eighty minutes (and then texting you sixty minutes later to tell you that if you're not there in three minutes that they'll give away your spot) is why Toronto sucks so much. Also the food is pretty meh. ------ The antidote and solution to this quandary is pretty close by and it is called MONTRÉAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beautiful and nonchalant and cultured Montréal. Vive la différance !
"...the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness. For he truly is his brother's keeper..." --Pulp Fiction
Now, I really wanted to write a good review about how this place was amazing and all avant-garde and shit and how it's cool that they don't have a sign outside and all that jazz but it just ain't going to fucking happen. Okay. So very sorry but ... not really. C'mon we all know that Toronto sucks but who among us doesn't know that Montréal fucking rocks the awesomeness of cool!?!
The truth is that you (Toronto and Grand Electric) are weak. And I am the tyranny (humble Yelper) of evil men (with healthy and working taste buds that function) ... but I'm trying (to eat some semblance of good food) Ringo, I'm trying real hard to be a shepherd.
To reiterate: this place is exemplary of why Toronto sucks so much. True story. This place is much much much over-hyped and exponentially over-priced for the pseudo-highfalutin bullshit that they purport to show off as ambiance and the passable garbage that they purport to serve as food. The only seemingly vegetarian taco to be itemised on the menu was something called the "Crispy Cauliflower" and it was not vegetarian at all. I'm like your mother: I wasn't angry; just very very disappointed in you. Also, cauliflower? Seriously, cauliflower? Cauliflower sucks even more than Rob Ford and T.don't combined does. The guacamole was alright but I could whip something up at least comparable to that at home with two desiccated halves of two and a half rotting avocados, some three year old limescale whilst blindfolded with one arm tied around my back. Don't forget the electrodes clamped to me nipples. The salad was passable as a salad but perhaps too strong on the vinegar. So yeah, this place is trying to be something that it obviously is not and it is failing miserably. Except, that is, for all the hype and business it gets from all you mindless automaton shills for whom cool is an hours long queue outside and for whom value for dollar is a 5,99$ cupcake for your Pomeranian/Shihtzu cross. Well, you're in luck because your wannabe hipster doofus dog will love this gourmet canine food but if you've got working taste buds and any self-esteem whatsoever you'd escape this hellish dreamscape as soon as possible.
The only good thing about Grand Electric is the fact that there is an exit to leave from whence you came.
Okay and their drinks are kind of good. They also have an extensive Bourbon list but that doesn't make up for the Satan-worshiping evil that they pretend is service and the stank ass nasty that they serve as food.
If you really want some excellent Mexican / Mexican fusion in a warm and friendly convivial atmosphere you need to get on your hoverboard and propel yourself up the highway 401 to a place called Grumman '78 in the Saint-Henri neighbourhood of Montréal. We will be waiting for you arms open and legs akimbo. The best Torontonians are the ones that move to Montréal. So ... à la prochaine fois mes amis.
*Disclaimer*
I do not actually hate Toronto. Toronto is probably like the fourth or fifth best city in Canada (after MTL, Fulford on Salt Spring Island, B.C., Vancouver, St. John's and Ottawa) so that's a pretty good place to be! As a proud denizen of the metropolitan and cosmopolitan Montréal, born and bred, I have been indoctrinated into the Cult of Toronto Sucks. Notwithstanding that to a certain extent, Toronto does suck, I have overcome this indoctrination also to a certain extent yet there is still a valid lingering residual in the background of my cognition on this subject. Thank you for your understanding. Leafs suck. Go Habs Go. Vive la Ville de Montréal !
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