| rev:text
| - FAILURE TO LAUNCH.
I generally try to stay positive when I write these reviews, even if my experience isn't great. I also try to avoid personal attacks. I'll make an exception in this case.
Johnny Rockets is awful. I'd call it Johnny Rotten's but it would be an insult to the Sex Pistols front man, and I kinda like their music.
I anoint this scum bucket of a restaurant with one star despite the fact that I didn't actually eat here--actually, I'd give it negative stars precisely because I didn't eat here.
I'll provide a bit of context.
My wife and I decided to take our baby for an outing. The weather was threatening, so we sought out some place indoors where we could walk around and stare at pretty consumer goods.
We chose Vaughan Mills.
It was lunchtime, and we were hungry, but wanted to avoid the food court because it was packed and loud, and the baby was asleep in his stroller.
Got that? SLEEPING BABY.
So, we went to Johnny Rockets for the promise of a quick sit-down lunch, a tasty burger and perhaps an order of chicken fingers while THE BABY SLEPT.
At first glance, Johnny Rockets reminds one of the Departed Lime RIckey's chain-styled as an old school diner in the middle of a 2000-era shopping complex.
I may not remember much about Lime RIckey's, but it wasn't filthy (Johnny Rockets was), and the vinyl booths weren't black with grime and half-torn (as they were here). But we were hungry and THE BABY WAS ASLEEP.
A sign up front directed us to seat ourselves. So we picked a booth towards the back where we would be unmolested. A porcine server suggested we try the other side of the restaurant, where it would be QUIETER, so THE BABY COULD KEEP SLEEPING.
We moved.
A second server approached with menus, and COMMENTED ON THE SLEEPING BABY. She turned and left without taking drink orders. No warnings were provided.
My wife and I shot each other a look over the menu, which was hideously overpriced-basic burgers start around $12, which is excessive unless ol' Johnny Rocket has a stack of Wagyu beef hidden up his ass.
No sooner were we about to debate our exit than Server #2 reappeared. Holding a birthday cake. OVER THE SLEEPING BABY. And, making her way to another table, brayed at the top of her idiot lungs. 'HEY, WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY HERE!!!"
Right on top of our SLEEPING BABY (who soon transitioned to CRYING BABY, because of this monumentally stupid, stupid, dumb idiot who couldn't have bothered to tell us it might get a bit noisy?).
Think of every curse word you know. Scream it at the top of your lungs. Break something. Ransack a car. Burn down a house. Invade a foreign country. That's how angry we were at these morons.
SLEEPING BABY, YOU DUMBASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, we got the hell out, and soothed our precious cargo back to sleep. But inside I plotted my revenge against the brainless wonders who couldn't be bothered to give a new family the heads up.
Hopefully, this review does the job.
Avoid at all costs. Especially if you have kids.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)