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  • All of my friends in high school told mid-Michigan native, country-bumpkin me, "AARON, you've never been to Five Guys?!?" throughout college. Whatever- suburb kids have their loves, and apparently Five Guys is one of them. So when I found this one on State Street, I was always excited to try it, because I had this picture in my mind that it was the In N Out of the Midwest - clean and quirky and simple and possessing fries covered in special sauce. I finally got in here the other day, after convincing myself the calories would finally be worth it, and it probably wasn't as unhealthy as I was making it out to be. (Also, the main display picture on Yelp was less than flattering - another reason I put it off.) And boy was I wrong. Pretty sure I consumed 408 grams of saturated fat for one of the most mediocre burgers ever. Also, the cashier made "Five Guys Style" fries out to be such a big thing. All I really got out of it was that that meant you get 5 (or more?) potatoes worth of fries. Holy crap, I've never eaten that many fries...and I threw some away. The burger was greasy as heck, and I was so scared of the acne attack I'd have afterwards. Location-wise, the inside left a lot to be desired. It was pretty grimy-feeling, especially the bathroom. And there's not outdoor seating, which I assumed was a staple for and main reason for even owning a business on State. I guess not. The staff could have been interchangeable with the Wendy's across the way. (Sorry, everyone I just offended there.) Just a bunch of minimum wage kids not knowing how to interact with customers in a non-awkward fashion. Overall, not a pleasurable experience.
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