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| - The Golden Nugget is the only hotel I would staycation at Downtown. It's the opposite of a dump, but still far from perfect. Overly crowded. 85 yearl old cocktail waitresses, etc.
The hotel room was big and the bed was comfortable and there was a large, flat screen tv. The bathroom was small and the door was too close to the toilet so if you had to shut the door while you are conducting business or "dropping the kids off" you have to do a breakdance ass move to shut it resulting in Indian burn on the butt cheeks. Good times:)
The restaurants: I am now a HUGE fan of the Italian restaurant, Grotto. It's not very romantic, but everything I tasted from the bread with a garlic infused oil dip, to the homemade sausage rigatoni to the angel food cake dessert was highly enjoyable. Our waitress with short, blonde hair was on point and knew the menu inside and out. Also the coffee shop was cool. Decent food, shitty coffee. It still didn't stop me from sucking down four cups a day. The last morning my waitress was a Bee when I told her that we would like to charge it to the room. She said she tried twice and it didn't work. Then she got a huge tude and said she would try a third time. What do ya' know? It effin worked! Of course it did because I have been staying here for two nights! What a Bee.....
The Pool- Biggest disappointment I have had in months. My whole life everyone has raved about the GN Pool and I always felt as if I was missing out. NOT. The chairs are pushed together like a mass grave to the point your neighbor's back hair eskimo kisses you when he turns over. The water looks like Jenna Jameson's mouth after one of her movies before they hand her the spit bucket. I'm being serious. Sure there is a slide and a shark tank, but none of which did anything for me. We were both over 21 and for some reason I was never told we could go to the adult pool which I am sure was the exact opposite of this nonsense. FAIL.
The Spa- Since the pool sucked shlong we ventured to the spa for treatments. Best move. I got quiet, alone time full of rubbing and aroma therapy and soothing music and this turned out to be the absolute highlight. Good job GN.
Overall I don't think I would stay at the GN again. Well, maybe. If only to get buzzed and watch the Homeless Drug Addict Soul Train Dance Contest outside. If you don't know what I am talking about you need to go Downtown tonight and witness this shit. You will never be more embarrassed for this city. Rubbing elbows with 3 Spidermans, 2 Michael Jacksons, Fat Elvis, Pee Wee Herman while watching crack addicts do the lawnmover can only happen in Vegas. Good freakin' times!!!
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