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| - Nestled among the many hotels surrounding Pittsburgh's International Airport is the Sheraton Airport Hotel, a Starwood joint nine stories tall with a fridge and microwave in every room and an exceptional restaurant on the main floor.
It was the weekend of the Global Dark Lord Conference which is notable as the only time you will see a collection of Dark Lords milling about a hotel in tropical shirts drinking local microbrews. It is a weekend of song, drink, fellowship with various elder gods, and negotiations to prevent the End of Days. Of course all the darker topics play out over the evening and the hotel staff is discreet and supporting to keep the herd churning through the lobby and refreshing the ice water throughout the weekend.
I was there to obtain permission from one particular cabal to enter a sacred territory in search of a missing artifact. The Delaware committee was easily persuaded with offerings of beer, so I brought several cases of interesting ales and stouts to the hotel. After an extraordinary meal at the hotel bar (that clause is rarely written in modern society) with Hanna of Astrovale and "The Dark Seer" of Everwhen, my associate Dr. Waspbelt and I joined the former pair up to the exclusive ninth floor to meet with the Keepers of The Fortress to share in lagers, pilsners, and other beer offerings.
We were taken to the ninth floor in the service elevators because the hotel staff had agreed to honor the sacred sigil borne by the Warrior Queen of Astrovale and they were so professional in doing so. To get that kind of "snap-to" response from hotel staff, you usually have to be a Trump, Cheney, or other sinister daemonite lord. It says a lot that they responded as such to a Guardian of Light (or they just knew one of our companions was a Dark Seer who enjoys telling people the fixed date and time of their deaths.)
Aside from the orgy going on in the Starwood Suite Lounge (not the convention, just a United Airlines "team building" meeting), the only action on the ninth floor was a mass prayer ritual in a nearby suite. Everyone in the GDLC prayed to the gods of the beer harvest and they were enjoying themselves with the Ritual of Mass Consumption.
I offered our case of Mudbeaker Ale to the Sacred Lord of The Unopened Door (aka "Brian") and we man-hugged for an uncomfortable minute after. The Keeper of Eyes of Shoggoth Roe (aka "Chris") offered us a blood ale, sharing some bull$hit back story about bloodletting and shame that made it inevitable the beer itself would be crap.
The Dark Seer of Everwhen vanished into the crowd on her own mission. Hanna negotiated a meeting with Extracounsul Vulgarion (aka "Kenny") who is governor of all sacred sites in Delaware. He was such a cool guy and 2.5 sheets to the wind when we sat down with him. He and his "bros" were playing Yahtzee in breezy Hawaiian shirts passing around single-malt Scotch and sharing stories about their time in any of the Million Psychic Wars.
The entire time I could not help but notice the fresh scent of the suite and the crispness of the towels as well as the linens in the beds in the adjoining rooms. This Sheraton was ON ITS GAME, people. From the kitchen to the Housekeeping Staff to the Hotel Detective (who was out of sight) it was a great experience top to bottom. It played a big role in keeping Vulgarion happy which, in turn, made him more receptive to our request and now...we're off to Delaware to retrieve the Lost Pick Axe of Gary the Amish Avenger.
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