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  • Holy crap! This place was like Walmart on PCP! Between employees on forklifts, grammaws on wheelchairmobiles, Soccer moms on cellphones (watching the aisles instead of where the hell they were going), and random foreign dudes (just standing around and staring in the middle of the aisles as if they were extras from The Walking Dead) - it was like real-life Frogger. I wasn't sure I was going to make it outta there in one piece. A relative from outta town wanted to impress me with her Costco card. Alright. Color me freaking impressed. Boner City! She bought enough stuff that I knew I'd have to pack the freezer like it was a piece of luggage where you try to fit all the excess crap you bought on your trip by sitting on it just to close it. All I wanted to do was just GTFO as soon as humanly possible. I will probably never get a damn Costco card unless there's a real zombie apocalypse and I end up housing and feeding several infantry units at my place. In that case I probably won't need a card. We'd come back and just take what we need and I bet the same zombies will still be in the aisles. Standing. Staring. Aim for the goddamn head!
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