Holy crap! This place was like Walmart on PCP! Between employees on
forklifts, grammaws on wheelchairmobiles, Soccer moms on cellphones
(watching the aisles instead of where the hell they were going), and
random foreign dudes (just standing around and staring in the middle
of the aisles as if they were extras from The Walking Dead) - it was
like real-life Frogger. I wasn't sure I was going to make it outta
there in one piece. A relative from outta town wanted to impress me
with her Costco card. Alright. Color me freaking impressed. Boner City!
She bought enough stuff that I knew I'd have to pack the freezer like
it was a piece of luggage where you try to fit all the excess crap you
bought on your trip by sitting on it just to close it. All I wanted to
do was just GTFO as soon as humanly possible. I will probably never get
a damn Costco card unless there's a real zombie apocalypse and I end up
housing and feeding several infantry units at my place. In that case I
probably won't need a card. We'd come back and just take what we need
and I bet the same zombies will still be in the aisles. Standing. Staring.
Aim for the goddamn head!