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| - I've been here three times - each time lured back by glowing Yelp reviews and the line snaking around the block. Each time I couldn't figure out what I was missing. Was it the food? The ambiance? The service? Twice I even brought friends. Maybe they could shine a light on what I was missing. But they weren't impressed either.
The menu is on a vast, confusing chalkboard that carelessly (and unhelpfully) mingles Spanish and English. The first time I ate here I was looking for the ribeye platter; I couldn't find it on the board, lost amid the sandwiches and appetizers, so I ordered a sandwich.
You order at the counter. Since no one seems able to decipher the menu, each customer peppers the cashier with a hundred questions. This makes the ordering process very, very slow and is probably responsible for the line around the block.
The first time I asked for iced tea. All they had was bottled, so I passed. I thought maybe I'd get another drink, but I couldn't see them on the menu, so I didn't know what my choices were. Water it was. I never did find out if they have anything other than water and bottled ice tea.
Once you order your food, they bring it to your table by calling out your name. One time I saw three "Bobs" jump up at the same time to claim their order. Seating is plentiful - most people are still waiting to order. A condiment bar provides four different Argentinian sauces: a chimichurri sauce, a pimento sauce, an onion sauce, and a garlic sauce. The onion is the best. And you better like at least one, because you're going to need it for the dry, tasteless meats.
The first time it was the ribeye sandwich. The bread was burnt and hard as an English biscuit. The ribeye was not tender, not flavorful, and was easily overwhelmed by the pound-and-a-half of roasted peppers laid on top of the sandwich.
The second time I tried the ribeye platter. I ordered medium. The meat came sliced, without a trace of pink. I call that 'well done.' The meat was much the same as the first time - tough, dry and flavorless. It compares to a sirloin from Outback. No wonder folk rave about the sauces, you need them to make the meat palatable.
The third time the meat was just as bad as the others. Granted, at this price point I wouldn't expect Prime beef. But if you're going to use Choice or Select, you should probably spend some time tenderizing it. If skirt steak can be made tender, so can a ribeye. Shoeleather sucks.
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