My new year's resolution is to keep the same vapid worldly pleasures as always, but to upgrade them all.
I still go to the mall, but I'm blowing money on Macy's and Dillard's instead of Sears and Foot Locker.
I still shoot vodka like I'm in undergrad, I just make sure it's top shelf only.
And I still show up drunk to diners in the middle of the night, I will just make a habit of 5 & Diner instead of those *other* chains.
OK, there's literally no way to spin liking 5 & Diner of all places as a quantifiable improvement in personal growth. I am self aware enough to know I am trashy and an absolute tool just for trying. But I *do* know it's a cut above whatever else you were planning to get after you were done partying. Heck, I could actually eat here for lunch and probably be OK with it. I'm craving another BLT with fries already!