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| - one might think you have, indeed, walked into the secret lair of the evil genius himself when you come in off the street to the diminutive interior of moriarty's. and, on most fridays when i would go for a drink or 12 after work around the corner, you may have been correct. let me show you around. please beware of the evil traps and beverages designed to drunken you.
dominated by the moderately sized dark wood bar and with just a few tables solidly held down by locals and regulars, the ambiance is as dark as heart of the sinister professor himself.
the beer selection is elementary for a solid little irish bar with plenty of guinness, harp, bass and others being served with a sly smile and without mention of the check until you ask for it. no tabs, no "may i have a credit card, please." no deductive reasoning for me, though - my tab is usually more about multiplication (so, if i had 5 half-and-halfs and each one is $5, how much money do i need for bail on the dui charge driving home? no. no. that's not right . . . .)
what evil lair would be complete without a few diabolical traps for the foolishly unwary or drunk? in the interests of avoiding liability, however, my attorney has advised to warn you just the same. first: the bathrooms are upstairs. head the whole 30 feet or so to the back of the bar and you'll find the stairs by the coat rack. second: the stairs pretty much end at the bathroom door - an insidious, demoniacal trap for you on the way out if you are imprudent enough to still be pulling/zipping up. i'm sure more than one patron has gone ass over tea-kettle back down the stairs. third: what all evil geniuses truly fear - the sunlight. in the summertime, cleveland, which is situated near the western edge of the eastern time zone, can stay sunny until almost 9:00 p.m. when you hunker down in moriarty's like i have, that sunlight will blind you when you emerge, having successfully avoided the first two traps, allowing evildoers to finish you off.
you've been warned.
muahahahahahahaha. muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
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