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| - Have you been to Eno Vino on Junction Road? Good. Savor the memory. Your favorite drinks (some of them, like Kinda Blue, are really amazing) are not at the new Eno Vino at the AC Marriott. Most of your favorite menu items are not either; at the west location you're hard-pressed to choose from the large, enticing selection, but the selection downtown lacks in comparison (and, as it turns out, in taste). When my friend made a reservation she had requested a table by the window (everyone does) because we were celebrating a special occasion; two in our party of three were celebrating birthdays. Those requests can't be guaranteed, of course, but two tables were seated just before us--by the window--so the request could have been accommodated after all (especially since one person in our party had arrived even before the others were seated). Either way, not only did we not get the window seat, but we got a table that had a fully obstructed view; the two people who looked towards the window actually faced a pillar (the Capitol was behind it). Did anyone say "happy birthday" to us? Nah. Then came time to eat. If you find yourself at Eno Vino downtown, do yourself a favor and order the tomato soup. It's absolutely delicious, and comes with four mini grilled cheese sandwich wedges. You'll wish it's the only thing you ordered, both because it's so very, very good, and because everything else is so very, very bad. The crab cakes were patties of shredded crab, far inferior to any frozen crab cakes you've ever tasted, and with not a single lump of crab meat in them. The risotto was uninspiring and bland. The lamb meatballs made me feel sad that a lamb died just to make, well, this. With chunks of fat in them, tasting boiled and undercooked, the red sauce they came with barely made it possible to swallow each bite. The chef's special, and I use both the words "chef" and "special" magnanimously, was a sockeye salmon served at room temperature and drenched in the kind of hollandaise sauce (yes, you read right; hollandaise) that would cause both sauces and Holland to take offense. If you fed it to your cat it would wait until you fell asleep and scratch you to pieces. We didn't attempt dessert, because this was my second time at Eno Vino downtown, and I remember the tiny brittle cubes of poundcake and paper-thin strawberries that fell off the fork into the chocolate fondue (not worth the attempt to eat this; just go to the Opus Lounge down the street that does it right) and the apple pie with cheddar cheese chunks that tasted as appalling as it sounds. When this location opened, the Isthmus review wrote "if you want the best view in Madison go to Eno Vino, but if you want the best food don't." It was much too generous. You will get better food at any food cart, and the view is apparently hit and miss too. If you dare walk past Graft or the Heritage Tavern on your way to Eno Vino, I hope you take a wrong turn and get lost. The delay may give you a chance to repent and see the error of your ways.
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