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  • "Welcome to the land of fail "I hope you brought your soul for sale "The greeter's still at home I think he died" --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- Cameron is dead. --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- If Cam is not physically dead, he is dead figuratively ... in spirit. Like all modern day anecdotes related to updates in customer service within companies, 777 Towing has gone 180 degrees straight into the shitter. This tow company is complete, absolute shit today. I had two more experiences succeeding my initial five-star review. --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- Experience 1 Cameron. Refer to initial review. --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- Experience 2 This guy shows up to change my tyre. It is a hired vehicle that I had to call for due to the jack set in the boot being incomplete. In any case, I call to have this tyre changed and this car is dispatched. He begins to set up and ready to jack it up -- except my neighbours show up -- and now he has to move a metre or so because he is blocking their carport. Apparently this was the equivalent of shitting in his porridge, or slapping him in the face with a deceased trout. He dramatically huffs. He violently snatches the jack and belligerently flips it on top of my neighbours's plants. I mean he does this right in front of my neighbours. Uh .... He changes out the rental car's tyre but now my neighbours probably despise me (more than they did before) and probably think I am racist. I still tip him -- overly generous -- in hopes he gets himself in a better mood and actually does more good than ill at his next service call. I don't think this guy watched the major motion picture Pay It Forward starring lil' Haley Joel Osment (before he got really fat). (Shot here in Centennial, Las Vegas, NV.) --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- Experience 3 They give my roadside assistance provider an estimate of an hour. After over an hour -- waiting in 111F heat -- they call and ask about the location. Uh .... Why are you asking about the location? It's been a fucking hour! They claim they are running late. Uh .... They estimate forty-five minutes more, on top of the hour plus they already initially quoted. I now tap out this draft as I patiently wait; it has been in excess of two hours at this point, I already spoke with my roadside assistance (USAA)(*dropping them as soon as I get to a notebook) and they offered me a second, lower-rated option who was quoting ninety minutes as an alternative. I am surprised they don't dispatch a Teabagger from the Bundy Terrorist Compound to come punch me in the nuts as the third alternative. Epilogue It has been over two and one-half hours now at this point and they are nowhere in sight. I might not survive this one, loyal readers ... so -- if this is my last review -- heed my advice and never, ever use 777 Towing. If your roadside assistance provider announces to you that 777 will be your tow, exclaim that you need someone else. Your very life might depend on it. I'm getting drowsy and falling asleep in this extreme heat. If these are my last words, let them be recorded as such: I lived, and I loved; I tried to do my best with the resources I was afforded; and, I hope I get to see Roberto Clemente. Be good to each other. Tip as well as if it were your last tip in this multiverse. Hug a stranger. Kiss a non-"Elite" yelper at the next UYE .... I forgive you Tony Hsieh. Maybe you could have been a good cult leader and not an utterly evil one if everything had panned out financially for your cult and you would have not received so much justified criticism from the non-carpet baggers from our valley. I won't hold anything against you if we share a collision in the afterlife, if there is one. Someone remember to feed the cat. --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- Postscript Experience 4 Due to Centennial Toyota's Service Department being the most incompetent goons in the valley, my motor vehicle needed a tow for the exact same problem as before. Guess who my roadside assistance initially dispatches to tow me? Yes ... seven-seven-seven. I tell them no-no-no. It took these pieces of trash three hours to come out the last time. Three hours! Cancel request, get another company. Cancel the fucking request goddammit! Fool me once ... "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on ... shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again!" --------------------------------------------------­­­­­­­----------------------- Rating: One-star, "Eek! Methinks not."
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