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| - FREE CIGARS? Yep- keep reading... but...
Don't go here...!
If you don't like smoke- don't go here. If you have OCD and get hives when you see dust- don't go here. If you don't like friendly old guys reliving their youth- don't go here. If you're afraid of parallel parking- don't go here. If you are allergic to vinyl seating surfaces- don't go here. If you can't stand mellow classic rock (read: Led Zepplin)- don't go here. If you're in a hurry- don't go here. If you request 'Non-Smoking' ALL the time- don't go here. If you are trying to become a hipster by smoking cigars- don't come here.
Have I made my point? But you're still reading...? Great, then read on...
If you enjoy a good smoke, if you have a few hours to kill, if you love the idea of smoking in your own living room but hate the 'sticky-dirt' that accumulates on the walls only to be evident when you move your pictures around and find that your walls are 3 shades darker than when you first painted them, if you enjoy hearing stories that start out- 'When I was younger...' or 'When I was your age...', if you're not allergic to dust, if you have an open mind... you get the idea. This place is a gem.
I'm a chill, relaxed, open minded, live & let live, love to hear stories, love to tell stories, love to BYO (as you can carry a 6 pack in here) kind of guy. I was brought up in a 2 smoker household, my father quit cold turkey when I was about 12, my mother has reduced her cigarette intake drastically but still smokes daily. I turned out ok. No lasting effects, no long term issues. I can't recall when I tried my first cigar and I can admit- I wasn't hooked. I have evolved over time. Now when I want to relax, when I want to recharge, I head to Blooms.
Cigar Camp happens every Saturday. What's that, you ask? It's kind of like WDVE's Electric Lunch. Michelle Michaels asks for 'lunch requests', she promises to 'try to get it on...' she 'Cooks it up & serves it hot'... but there's no lunch. Here at Blooms- there's no Camp. There's no tents, no campfire, no smores... What there is is a very friendly owner (Mark) holding court and acting like the moderator of the debate on life. My wife learned about Furries here, for god's sake! She thought I was pulling her leg when I tried to explain it but after our second visit to Blooms when the old guys were discussing the upcoming weekend, she learned all she needed to know. Cigar Camp does feed you though- there's usually ribs, corn bread, pulled pork, slaw, potato chips, all supplied by Mark (with a required purchase of course. We all know there's No Free Lunch). The 'campers' also bring stuff and we had our first taste of home-made Lemoncello here.
Our first visit we learned how to get free cigars. Years ago there was a bar in Homestead named Chiodos. Chiodos was decorated with eclectic stuff. Eclectic stuff and Bra's... TONS of Bra's... Well, I'm not sure who 'came' first- Blooms or Chiodos but Mark has bras all over the ceiling of the humidor. I guess it keeps the cigars happy. Anyway- we were taking the tour and my wife asked about them. Turns out- if you give him your bra- you get a free cigar. If you take it off in front of the 'cigar smoking court'- you get 2 cigars. If you let him take a polaroid- 3 cigars. My loving and open minded wife earned me 2 free cigars. Pictures don't lie- but reviews can, she said. ;)
As for prices and the review that says the prices are high... Are you HIGH...? Mark will take you to the $2 bin and tell you that this cigar is better than the $14 one 2 shelves over. He'll tell you that the $4 ones are only half as good as the $8 ones. He's not trying to win you over- he's telling you to think for yourself. We're all individuals with our own tastes. Try the $2 ones first, if you don't like them try a different one. There's that saying that says 'You eat with your eyes first...' and those $2 cigars don't look like much but they have every bit as much taste as a $10 one with a fancy band. Tell Mark what you want to spend and he'll pick the best cigar for your needs...
Where am I gong with this review...? I'm not exactly sure. It's my very own 'trip down memory lane' that's continuously being added to, I guess. But in the infamous words of Jimmy Buffett- 'The best navigators are not quite sure where they're going until they get there...'
Thank you, good night and don't forget to tip your bartenders... :D
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