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| - Please, for the love of all that is holy and good in the world do not step foot in this restaurant. Wait, "restaurant" is a misnomer. A better description is "dirty tourist trap"
Where should I begin? Let's talk about the decorations. They suck. The place looks like the home of an acid-tripping mobster diagnosed with pathological hoarding. It also smells like a Chuck e. Cheese ball pit.
What next? Let's talk about the service. The waiter looked like she had just butchered a cow when she took our order. And no, this is not a cool organic farm to table thing, she literally was covered in bits of meat and pasta sauce. Her tie kept dragging in our food too.
Now, the food. There are a couple of reviews the point out the portions are large. I agree that they are large, but would suggest that they are large in the sense that a pig eats a large amount of food at a pig trough. And the food actually doesn't taste much better than pig slop. Actually, this is offensive to pigs. I assume pig slop is reasonably priced, this is actually not. The "large" portions are just because they fill the plates with cheap, bland, pasta.
Finally, I saw in other negative reviews that the manager kindly reached out to the reviewer and offered to fix grievances. I sincerely hope the manager does not try to contact me. You could not pay me to go back there. The only way to fix our grievances would be to burn the place down to the ground.
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